On Being an Only Child etc.

I was, essentially, an only child for the first 21 years of my life. I was aware that I had siblings from my father both in Mexico and somewhere in the Seattle area but hadn't met them until only a few years ago. My mom was single for many years and re-married the summer after I graduated from high school. Then, at 21, my little sister Abbey was born. Not even two years later came my brother Gabe. At which point I was no longer officially an only child.

I really am so thankful for both of them. They're cool kids. Fun to be around. Each with their own, unique personalities. Each that I enjoy immensely. They are a fabulous aunt and uncle to my kids. I'm also thankful as I look down the road to a day when my mother gets older and may be sick or ailing and we have decisions to make. Or the day when she passes away and there are funeral arrangements to be made and accounts to be settled. Things that can sometimes be an overwhelming challenge for an only child. But today, as I carry out my life as a young mother and wife I am, for all intense purposes, still an only child.

There is a family at our church that had five children. Two girls and three boys. Their children are grown now and several of them attend our church (as do the parents). Two of them married siblings, the other a dear sweet gal that was best friends with one of the siblings. I won't even try to explain, it's complicated. My point is, though, that it is the most wonderful family and I have made special note as I have watched them interact as siblings and in-laws.

There's something special about a sibling. Perhaps especially special about a sister. They are someone who knows you better than anyone else, who has lived life with you and knows your quirky little flaws, someone you can be completely comfortable with. I always imagine that if I had a sister close to my age that she would be the one I called when I was having a tiring day with my children, the one I would call to drop the kids off at when I had a doctor's appointment, the one that would give me hand-me-downs for my children, go shopping with me and do crafts with me. Now, I know that not everyone has relationships with their siblings like the one I describe, but many do.

Lately I've had several appointments and things to do where I needed someone to watch the kids. I found myself wishing I had a sister that I could call up and say, "Hey, can I drop Steele off for a couple hours?" Or even, "I have to go to a meeting all day in Seattle and Justin is working. Can you watch the kids for the day." Because, really, who else would you feel comfortable saying that to except a sister or maybe a mom? Certainly not my mother-in-law who is very graciously driving two hours up and two hours back to do it.... A sister is also the person that can drop their kids off at your house for a couple hours and it's not a big deal because, well, you probably love their children almost as much as you love your own.

Fortunately, my grandma has saved the day lately. She'll be 80 this year and it brings her such joy to help me with my children. I had a big lump in my throat yesterday as I thanked her for helping me go to a doctor's appointment with Adia. I told her how much it meant to me and how much I enjoy spending time with her and she told me how she is so glad that she is still able to do it. Then we told each other "I love you." Grandmas are pretty special too ya know. Yesterday I sort of threw my back out - and in my grandma's own slightly annoying worrisome way she gave me the sympathy only a grandma can give and rubbed my back in the middle of the doctor's office waiting room.

So, I guess the point of this post is that, aside from serving and glorifying the Lord, in my opinion there is no greater blessing than family. When my mom had Abbey and she and my step father were deciding whether or not 43 was too old to have another child I said to my mom, "You have to have another child. Don't do that to Abbey." And those are my feelings to this day.

So keep having those babies! Or adopt some babies! With all the people out there these days concerned about their environmental footprints you can probably afford to have a few extra! Go for it. And if you think about it, have you ever heard anybody at the end of their life look at their dear, beautiful family and say, "I wish I hadn't had so many darn children?" No. I often hear so many say, "I wish I had had more."