From A Reader

From the comments section of my blog post titled "Wrangling Kids and Chasing Vans in the Rain."

I would like to agree with Heidi on one of her points from her second comment - it's true, none of us really knows what another person is feeling or thinking or what their motivation is for doing what they do. One thing I know for sure though, this job of parenting is a hard one and the Lord is daily refining me through it. We're all just doing the best we can, and sometimes it's nice to have a little help. I know I was thankful for it with my own screaming toddler just this morning. (More on that later....)


From her comment posted January 2, 2010:

Heidi (Unick... Gretchen's sister) from Whatcom County here... small town girl living in the "big city" (Bellevue) since 1998. Saw you on Thrifty Decor Chick's blog and dropped in. It's worth noting that Bellevue Square does not represent most of Bellevue. It represents developer Kemper Freeman and any of the idiots willing to give him their hardearned money, which I am not. He's made it clear in the media he doesn't want the "Factoria Mall types" at his properties so I just don't go there anymore... it's called Free Will. It's also worth noting that how you feel about yourself and your appearance when visiting Bellevue Square is on you, not on the other shoppers/visitors. I go out & about in Bellevue, including Bellevue & Lincoln Square, with no makeup on and dressed like a homeless person and I'm just fine with that. Nobody has the power to make me feel bad about myself unless I hand that power over to them. Helping that other mom out was nice... I just wish you didn't judge her & her parenting skills so harshly before making the offer. In reading your blog it made your offer of help seem a little less about genuinely helping a fellow mom and more about making yourself seem like the better parent.


My response:

Heidi - Yes, I suppose we all wish we could be more understanding, compassionate and gracious sometimes. I know I do. Ultimately though, I think it's how we act in the end that matters rather than what we think in the beginning. It sounds as though you have some pretty critical evaluations of others yourself sometimes. It's not always a bad thing to evaluate things honestly.



Her response on January 3, 2010:

LOL! Cutzi, as someone who has been reading your "honesty" (read: self-righteousness) on Dave's (last name removed to protect the innocent) FHS board for quite a while I can tell you... I did evaluate your blog posting with honesty but you didn't like what I had to say. I'm always amazed at how (according to you) you're so much "smarter" than everyone else, how everyone else's way of living is "wrong" compared to yours, and how your method of "mothering" is so much more better than others' methods. I kept my feelings to myself on the FHS board for my sister's sake but since you posted this publicly in blogland you were asking for comment... which you got. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to turn that high-powered scope of judgment and critique upon yourself because when someone tells you they repeatedly see these kinds of behaviors in you... maybe, just maybe, it's true. Your other blog readers tried (very kindly) to point out to you that you had no idea about that poor mother's situation: what her day had been like or whether or not that was her usual method of parenting. And I have to ask: so what if it was? How did it negatively impact you? Why was it that you felt the need to judge her? What you chose to do in the end seems nice on the surface but it was really a gift with strings attached when you read your thoughts leading up to it (basically "I have to save the day for this woman who lacks my awesome parenting skills"). Have you ever considered the reason she avoided eye contact with you in the elevator was because she could sense your judgment and superior attitude? If not, consider it. People who truly want to help don't judge, they just help. This was also an example of why so many women I know have a hard time trusting other women... our gender is known for smiling into each other's faces and then tearing each other down. Yuck. As for the DINKs who populate Bellevue Square, they're people just like you & me, no less worthy of our respect. Before I moved from Bellingham to Bellevue I used to have that same smalltown defensive attitude that you displayed and I, too, used to make fun of the Bell Square types (now I just aim my ire at Kemper Freeman because he's a jerk who deserves it). Maybe you don't realize there's also a rather unflattering Whatcom County stereotype *you* fit into. I call it the "I'm a more natural mother than Mother Nature, poops crafts and farts homemade organic granola bars, drives a Volvo/Subaru/Prius, owns only 'comfort clothes' and makes fun of anyone who doesn't" type. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with fitting into this stereotype (except the last part), just as there's really nothing wrong with being a "DINK". Having lived in both communities, I can tell you that I'd rather live amongst the DINKs because their false pretention is nothing compared to the Whatcom County "natural" types with their defensiveness and self-righteousness. Just about the time that I really start missing home I remember how much I hated all of that and I get over my homesickness pretty quick. I'm pretty sure you'll either delete this without reading or else you will just poo-poo what I've written, which is too bad. Like I said, Cutzi, I've been silently observing you for a while now and maybe some of what I've said should be taken into consideration. That's up to you. Best wishes, Heidi

Morgan Cole

Remember my cousin that I talked about in this post? Well, she has a new web site! Now, I know I'm a bit biased - but I happen to think she is an amazing artist. She's also an amazing person. If you live in the Portland area - be sure and check her out sometime.

She is a study in contrast for certain - she's married to a physicist.

One time I asked him what he did for a living. It was hard to concentrate through the glaze in my eyes and the fog in my brain. The sad part is that I was using every ounce of brain energy I had. I don't feel so bad though - if you ask Morgan what he does she says something like, "Um. He makes robots or something." HA!

We're enjoying the sunshine again today - we've been so blessed with it over the last couple weeks. I'm busy this week with Jazzercise stuff - preparing for a parade on Saturday and a huge one day sale on Monday. I also just got the new routine set today (we get around 30 new routines 5 times per year). Jazzercise instructors are always crazy excited to see all the new stuff - I'm having fun watching it while the kids are napping.

I don't usually promote Jazzercise here on my blog - but it really is so much fun and a fabulous workout. If you've never tried it you should definitely check it out sometime. And the best part is that it's world wide - there are bound to be some classes near you. Any age, any fitness level. Go here if you're interested. Tell them Cutzi in Washington sent you. ;-)

And the Winner is (cont'd)

A Bit of a Delay

Thank you!!

Thank you so much for posting all those comments! It was so much fun - and I even got to meet a couple new readers which was the most fun for me. Some I didn't know at all, some who know me in a round about way and some who I thought I didn't know but I actually do. (Rebecca! of Bob and Rebecca. I totally know you - I just didn't know you were that Rebecca. Sorry!) And Bekah - you've really got me curious... I'd love to know who the friends of friends of friends are. You never know, I might know you too!

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. We're experiencing a bit of a delay. I didn't want to post the results of the drawing until I could post a picture of the prize. But - I just got back from the store where I was going to pick it up and they were all out!! Can you believe it?? There's another store I can go to but I won't have time until tomorrow - so you'll have to wait until then to find out what you get. But for now.... we have a winner!!

I contacted the law offices of Steeleson, Steelio and Steeleburger early this morning. They conducted a very technical, very official drawing using the latest blog-drawing technology.

First, they painstakingly documented each person that had posted a comment.



Then, they separated each name individually using an anonymous East Indian laborer.



Next, each piece of paper was folded employing an ancient Chinese origami technique.


They were carefully measured to insure the exact volume of entries was maintained.



The head of finance and resource expenditures insisted on drawing the name himself.


He doesn't usually waste his time on such trivial matters. He was, after all, in the middle of a meeting with Mr. F. Rogers, Bob Dog and King Friday.


He finally chose the winning name....



And then threw it back in the bowl.

I've contacted the Better Business Bureau regarding this little snafu. They shared with me that they've have had some complaints recently involving Steeleson, Steelio and Steeleburger. Something about the high-up corporate mucky mucks not training their top men thoroughly. Blah, blah, blah... I've heard it all before. You'd think we were dealing with toddlers or something.

So he drew another one....



And the winner is......

JODI!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Can You Show a Girl Some Love?

Ok friends... so I get about 50 hits a day to this snappy little blog I have. And you know how many comments I get? Maybe 2....or 3. On average. Now, I don't necessarily think you have to post a comment every time you read my blog - sometimes you just don't have anything to say. But if you read regularly would you at least say "hi" and let me know who you are? I know who some of you are - I've seen you at Costco and you've told me sheepishly that you read my blog. I love that! Some of you have told me that everybody else posts comments and you don't need to re-say what somebody else has already said. I've checked my site meter and seen that you live in Kennewick - I only know one person from Kennewick. Congratulations and I hope you're getting some sleep!

Ok - to make it fun you can ask me all the burning questions you've been dying to know. HA! I flatter myself. Seriously though, you might have questions - if they're not too personal I'll answer them. And also, if you've gotten this far and you post a comment I'll enter your name into a drawing. Did I say drawing?? I don't do drawings. But I will. As a blatant attempt to get your comments. And also because it was my blogaversary on June 1st. The prize will be a surprise - but I promise it will be good. As soon as I think of it.

So post up!

Oh! I better put a deadline on this. How about tomorrow at 10:23 pm PST?

And I think I need to limit it to American commenters. Sorry Will! International shipping might get expensive!