More Rewards

As a parent it is sometimes easy to overlook the successes we have in child training. My friend Amy has a great saying, "Right now, we are sowing. Later we will reap." But, thankfully there are those times when we see the fruit of our training. And I find that the more I train - the more often I see fruit.

Tonight... some fruit.

I had gone down to change a load of laundry and Justin had followed behind me to drop in some dirty Steele underwear. Suddenly, we heard a distressed cry coming from little Miss Adia Moon. Justin ran upstairs and there stood Steele. Wooden hammer in hand and a little Adia in front of him with a hammer shaped mark on her cheek. Justin swiftly asked Steele if he had hit her and he replied, "yes." (Thankfully we're still at that point where Steele always tells us the truth about his disobedience) Justin comforted Adia for a moment and then whisked Steele off for some discipline. I remained downstairs where I continued to hear crying from both ends of the house.

I know, I know. You're wondering where the fruit is.

I came upstairs just in time to witness Steele, some time after his discipline, run over to Adia in her swing and say, "Sorry Dee Dee." I stood and watched in amazement. Now, we have never taught him to say he's sorry. We've never demanded that he say it to us or his sister. Instead, we have decided to teach and model what a sorrowful and repentant heart looks like. We have pointed out to him the feelings that his sister is expressing when she cries because he has hurt her or taken a toy away from her. (We have also not rewarded Adia when she has unnecessarily bawled over a stolen toy) We have said "sorry" to each other in front of him and "sorry" to him when we have accidentally stepped on his toe or some other mishap. Our goal in doing this is that Steele feels truly sorry before he says it. We don't want him to simply go through the motions with a cold and unrepentant heart.

Now, it is true, that very often the Lord requires obedience from us even when we don't feel like obeying. Sometimes we must go to our spouse or to a friend to reconcile even when we still feel angry or hurt. But, in the end, when we repent before God - he knows our hearts. He knows when we understand our transgressions and come before him humbly asking for forgiveness. And he gives it to us. So, our reward tonight? Steele realized how he had hurt his sister, felt badly about it, and ran to her to reconcile. Needless to say, we told him that we, and the Lord, were very pleased with him.

We are also taking this approach as we teach him about thankfulness and manners. Many may disagree with us, but we also do not require that Steele say "please" or "thank you". Instead, we have chosen to point out peoples' kindness when they help us, their hospitality when they make a meal for us, their generosity and thoughtfulness when they give us a gift. We model saying "thank you" but more importantly we make every attempt to model having a thankful heart. We often note, in front of our children, God's beautiful creation or the good gifts He has given us and how thankful we are for them. When we pray together at night we make a point of thanking God for all of His blessings.

In regard to saying please - we also do not believe that please is some magic word you tack on to the end of a sentence to get something that you want. On several occasions I have seen children, with a demanding and entitled spirit, ask for something and include the word please and get what they want. Justin and I have chosen to be more concerned with Steele's heart toward us then with the words he uses. Now, when Steele asks me for something I often will follow with the same sentence in a cheerful voice with the word please - but, if he has asked me sweetly and kindly, (and I want him to have it) I will give him what he has asked for. Justin and I say please to each other and use the word please when we are at the grocery store and running errands - but more than anything we try to be friendly and joyful to the people we meet and see. And more and more often I see Steele smile and wave at people, say hi to them, answer them when they ask how he is doing or what his sister's name is ... and he is also beginning to say please and thank you. Rewards.

On a final note: Recently a friend of mine offered Steele something and asked him to say please. I quickly insisted that he say it because he needed to obey what she had asked him to do.

And now, some pictures. I just happened to snap these yesterday after Steele had been disciplined for something. Steele's smiling face and arms clenched so tightly around his papas neck after he had been absolved of his sin against Justin speaks clearly to me. I had to capture it.

This wasn't the moment of reproof
but I chuckled at how much it looks like it is.

Hugs


Whiskery Kisses


Kisses


And of course I had to add tonight's devotion time 'cause it was so dang cute.

Because I'm Lacking Creativity to Write About It

The Fair.
In Pictures.

Things

Justin and I just finished watching Stranger Than Fiction. I liked it. So did Justin. I think I need to re-watch the end though. I started looking at blogs and wasn't very focused.

So I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately but haven't known if I really want to blog about it. Isn't it funny how some things get stuck in your head and you can't get them out? Like one time my friend Amy told me that she doesn't really care for "stream of consciousness" blog writing. And even though I happen to know *for certain* that she loves my streams... I always think about that when I start writing.

Tonight I had a thought about something I read in Kate's blog. She said, "It's like they just put their kids to bed and go watch a movie." (or something like that) And that's what I did tonight. I put them to bed, grabbed my dinner and sat down to watch a movie. I couldn't get what she had said out of my mind (as I was watching my movie) - and I prayed, with all sincerity, that she would be able to do the same thing tonight. Watch a movie, that is.

I've also been thinking about all the things I think about people and I wonder what people think about me. Wouldn't it be terrible if we all knew what everybody else was thinking about us? We'd all feel really terrible about ourselves. It made me wish I didn't have so many critical thoughts about people.

Steele just fell out of his bed. I went in a laid down with him for a while. I whispered to him in the dark how special he is to me. How special he is to the Lord. How God has great plans for him and what a beautiful gift he is to us. He fell asleep in my arms and I snuck back out of his room.

I've also been thinking about my weight a lot lately. I'm so frustrated with myself. I weight 150 lbs. 10 more than I weighed last year at this time. I hate it. Some people will probably laugh when I write this - but I have really noticed a difference in my body since turning 30. There are rolls where there were none before. I just seem a little rounder and softer overall. And not in a good way.

There's an ad on for Christian Faith Center. Joel Osteen is on the cover of the Family Bookstore catalog. Justin and I talked today about how embarrassing it is. Disgusting, really. And there I go - being critical again.

When I go to bed at night I think about dying. About the fact that we are all going to die some day. I hate that fact and I hate that I think about it so much. Life is so short. I hope I'm making the most of it and trying to enjoy every moment. Then I think that life is not just about enjoying it - it's also about becoming more like Christ. The problem is that this becoming often involves the things I don't like to think about.

I've been thinking about Naomi Andrea lately and how I don't think about her as much anymore. I prayed so earnestly and so fervently for so long. Now, it is up to the Lord. I trust that - I trust God and the children He has planned for us. It's so cool to watch things unfold. Sometimes I'm amazed at all the ways I lack Godliness and yet, in this area, God has given me so much grace. He will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Now, I think I'm going to go to bed.

An afterthought.
I just exchanged these words with Justin...
me: I wrote kind of a wierd blog tonight.
justin: Is that because of the mojito?
me: mighta' been.

Urban Dictionary

no-kay
adj.

derived from:
1. middle english no meaning not any; not one; not a

and

2. the initials o.k. from a facetious folk phonetic spelling of orl korrect meaning all right; proceeding normally; satisfactory or under control; well enough; successfully; fine; adequate but unexceptional or unremarkable. Used to express agreement, understanding, acceptance, or the like

Mama: Got any pee pees in there?
Steele: No-kay.

So Much to Buy, So Little Time (and money)

I just found out that they did a bunch of upgrades on our stroller. Extremely necessary upgrades, in my very honest opinion. So disappointing that we'll have to buy another one....

Reconsidering

Ok - I am not a big Crocs fan (even though they do look awfully adorable on Steele)

But....

these

and

these

.... sure are cute.

I may just have to buy myself some. The only problem? Which color to buy. Hmm......

Rewards

This morning I am joyfully observing that my little boy is indeed maturing and that consistent (sometimes tiring) discipline does indeed pay off.

Over the last few weeks we have experienced the challenges that being 2 years old can bring. I purposely don't call them the "Terrible Twos" because I believe many parents use it as an excuse for their childrens' behavior. Truth be told, though, 2 has brought a new stage in our discipline and training. Steele is becoming more independent - as he should be - and with that independence his sinful nature (selfishness, stubbornness, obstinance) is rearing it's ugly head more and more.

Justin and I have decided that, in our home, we do not choose battles we cannot win. Because of this, our battles sometimes last a long time. Training and discipline sessions may go on more than an hour until we are triumphant. We wait and discipline until Steele's will is joyfully obedient toward us. In all honesty, it is in these moments that I sometimes wonder if I am doing things the right way, if my method will bring the desired outcome, if Steele will grow up to be a man that obeys God because he first obeyed his parents. I sometimes become tired, emotional and impatient as I recognize that I must set aside my own schedule and desires to set discipline as a priority.

And yet, with all of this, it is also a joy to watch Steele as he matures and begins to do more and more things on his own. So, back to the title of this post. A few of the "rewards" I have received this morning:

1. As I was typing Steele was kissing and hugging his baby sister while she was in her swing.

2. Steele sat down on his potty and wanted a light on and said to me, "Help please, mama."

3. When I asked him what he wanted for breakfast he said to me, "Oatmeal and raisins." (Which I think is just plain cute)

4. When I called Steele from another room he said, "Ok!" and then I heard his little feet running toward me.

5. Steele came into the living room with my necklace and I said to him, "That's mama's special necklace. Go put that back please." He again said, "Ok! Mama's special necklace," and ran it back into the kitchen and put it on the table.

6. As I was getting him into his seat for breakfast he repeated over and over, "unner, unner, unner". I told him I couldn't understand what he was saying and said to him, "Go show me." He went running into his room and came back with a pair of big boy underwear.

7. And finally, my favorite one of all. Every time I sneeze Steele says to me, "Bless you, mama."

I am blessed, son.




ps. I could not do this post justice if I did not include a very important link. The parenting resources found here have not only transformed our child training methods but have given us insight, resolve and confidence about who God is, who we are as husband and wife and who we are as parents. I will shamelessly say that it is the most biblically based resource we have found. It speaks absolute truth to parents. At times it may be seen as controversial and, as a sinful, prideful human being, it is sometimes difficult to read and take to heart. But we, as are many of our friends, are reaping the benefits of what we have learned (and are continuing to grow in). The result? A peaceful, joyful home with obedient, happy children. Well, at least until the next training session that is. ;-)

No Greater Joy

38, -97

Chin Up.

Car blew up.
Too much to tow up.
Justin needed a pick up.
Thought I'd just pack up.
Piled the kids up.
Everyone had to stay up.
Jessica fixed a room up.
Had to clean poop up.
Messed a bit of carpet up.
Mornings hard to wake up.
Jazzercise got my heart rate up.
Old friends gave me a pick-me-up.
Fire engines brought tears up.
Finally the shift is up.
Thought we better start up.
La Conner's what I thought up.
Fish and chips filled me up.
Too bad the scale's gonna go up.
Took Chuckanut back up.
Kids and dog were acting up.
Can't wait to pull the covers up.
Tomorrow things are looking up.

Wish I had some pictures to put up.