is good news!
At least in the this case.
I'm sorry I didn't update earlier but you see, being PREGNANT and all, I've been feeling a wee bit tired. And writing a facebook status update just takes so much less time than a blog post. Until I realized that I could keep this short too.
So the important details: My numbers are great. I'm 5 weeks along. I'm feeling great - not really nauseous at all. We have an ultrasound appointment scheduled for the 14th when we'll find out if it's twins or not.
Thank you for your prayers!!
I'll post more soon. Promise.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Happy K.U. Day!
That's right folks. Today's the day I go get knocked up.
Crazy, huh?
I realized after I posted on facebook this morning that some of you might only read my blog - and surely I would appreciate as many prayers as we can get today. So, humbly, I ask that you might remember us at 3 p.m. PST.
Now, I truly don't mean to offend anyone by using the term "knocked up." Surely a bit of light-heartedness is in order for this bizarre circumstance, right? It's also a bit of an ode to our dear friend Mike who proudly announced some 10 or 11 years ago while we were leading worship together one Sunday evening that he had "knocked up his wife." I laughed. Others did not. I'm still laughing actually. Especially because he's done it 4 - or 5 - more times since. heh heh.
I'll let you know what I know - which isn't much. This morning the clinic will try and thaw two embryos that were frozen together. If those both survive thawing, those are the two they will transfer. If only one survives, they'll thaw the one single we have so that we can try and transfer a total of two.
At about noon, Justin and I will drop our kids off at Grammy and Groompa's and head down to Seattle. On the way, I am to drink 1.5 liters of water and take a couple of Valium. This is one part of the procedure that I would especially appreciate your prayers for. It might just be me, but for some reason the idea of medication intended to relax your muscles and a bladder full of water does not seem at all ideal. Add on top of that some progesterone shots which cause you to urinate more frequently? Certainly not ideal. So yes, prayers for self control are appreciated.
Once at the clinic I'm not sure of the details. We'll go into a special room that is climate and odor controlled. We were instructed to not wear fragrance aside from our normal deodorant - apparently embryos are especially sensitive to smells. And then they'll do the transfer. I'll let you know more about that later. For today and tomorrow I've been instructed to lay around and take it easy. For the next couple of weeks I think I am supposed to limit some of my activity and then on the 27th (the day before Steele's birthday) I will go in for my first blood test.
I'm feeling quite peaceful and well-rested. Surprisingly, I was able to sleep last night. We trust that God will bring just the right ones at just the right time. We are asking Him, even though we don't deserve an ounce of blessing, to preserve these little lives for His glory.
Stay tuned...
Crazy, huh?
I realized after I posted on facebook this morning that some of you might only read my blog - and surely I would appreciate as many prayers as we can get today. So, humbly, I ask that you might remember us at 3 p.m. PST.
Now, I truly don't mean to offend anyone by using the term "knocked up." Surely a bit of light-heartedness is in order for this bizarre circumstance, right? It's also a bit of an ode to our dear friend Mike who proudly announced some 10 or 11 years ago while we were leading worship together one Sunday evening that he had "knocked up his wife." I laughed. Others did not. I'm still laughing actually. Especially because he's done it 4 - or 5 - more times since. heh heh.
I'll let you know what I know - which isn't much. This morning the clinic will try and thaw two embryos that were frozen together. If those both survive thawing, those are the two they will transfer. If only one survives, they'll thaw the one single we have so that we can try and transfer a total of two.
At about noon, Justin and I will drop our kids off at Grammy and Groompa's and head down to Seattle. On the way, I am to drink 1.5 liters of water and take a couple of Valium. This is one part of the procedure that I would especially appreciate your prayers for. It might just be me, but for some reason the idea of medication intended to relax your muscles and a bladder full of water does not seem at all ideal. Add on top of that some progesterone shots which cause you to urinate more frequently? Certainly not ideal. So yes, prayers for self control are appreciated.
Once at the clinic I'm not sure of the details. We'll go into a special room that is climate and odor controlled. We were instructed to not wear fragrance aside from our normal deodorant - apparently embryos are especially sensitive to smells. And then they'll do the transfer. I'll let you know more about that later. For today and tomorrow I've been instructed to lay around and take it easy. For the next couple of weeks I think I am supposed to limit some of my activity and then on the 27th (the day before Steele's birthday) I will go in for my first blood test.
I'm feeling quite peaceful and well-rested. Surprisingly, I was able to sleep last night. We trust that God will bring just the right ones at just the right time. We are asking Him, even though we don't deserve an ounce of blessing, to preserve these little lives for His glory.
Stay tuned...
Friday, June 10, 2011
Things I Loved About Yesterday
1. Looking down the row at this girl as she sat in her movie theater booster seat looking so serious about the whole situation.
She's also very serious about birthday sundaes.
2. Trying to keep a straight face as this girl held my hand up over her eyes during the "scary" parts of Kung Fu Panda. To Adia, scary music = scary scene.
3. Visiting with my grandma, listening to her chat with Adia and seeing the two of them walking along holding hands on our trip down to the fertility clinic. Even the memory of it brings tears to my eyes.
Xochi outside on the morning of her birthday party.
A quick story about my grandma - Before Steele was born my grandma wondered aloud to me what it would be like to love an adopted child. I think she was nervous that it would somehow feel different. My grandma and I are very close and I appreciated her honesty and vulnerability at the time. After all, she was almost 80 years old and had not experienced adoption very often in her life. I think perhaps that is why it is so sweet to see how dearly and fully she loves my children now. Since then, she has often remarked at how wonderful it is to know and love them and shares with me how she tells her friends all about how beautiful adoption is. I could cry (and pretty much do) every time I see my kids running up the walkway to her house yelling, "Mimi!! Mimi! Hi Mimi!"
4. Hearing the doctor at the fertility clinic say that my uterus is looking "gorgeous" and scheduling an appointment to transfer those little babes next Thursday. (June 16) I'd say more about this topic but I'm still in shock.
To close, a cute little video of Xochi the day before her birthday. This shows her real personality - she is pretty much happy and fun 87% of the time.
She's also very serious about birthday sundaes.
2. Trying to keep a straight face as this girl held my hand up over her eyes during the "scary" parts of Kung Fu Panda. To Adia, scary music = scary scene.
3. Visiting with my grandma, listening to her chat with Adia and seeing the two of them walking along holding hands on our trip down to the fertility clinic. Even the memory of it brings tears to my eyes.
Xochi outside on the morning of her birthday party.A quick story about my grandma - Before Steele was born my grandma wondered aloud to me what it would be like to love an adopted child. I think she was nervous that it would somehow feel different. My grandma and I are very close and I appreciated her honesty and vulnerability at the time. After all, she was almost 80 years old and had not experienced adoption very often in her life. I think perhaps that is why it is so sweet to see how dearly and fully she loves my children now. Since then, she has often remarked at how wonderful it is to know and love them and shares with me how she tells her friends all about how beautiful adoption is. I could cry (and pretty much do) every time I see my kids running up the walkway to her house yelling, "Mimi!! Mimi! Hi Mimi!"
4. Hearing the doctor at the fertility clinic say that my uterus is looking "gorgeous" and scheduling an appointment to transfer those little babes next Thursday. (June 16) I'd say more about this topic but I'm still in shock.
To close, a cute little video of Xochi the day before her birthday. This shows her real personality - she is pretty much happy and fun 87% of the time.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Still here...
Now that I'm feeling a little bit better I feel like I can sit down and gather my thoughts. The last week was pretty rough. I'm on a medication that suppresses my ovaries so they don't function. Basically, no ovaries = no hormones = major headaches + crazy, weepy emotions. I would sometimes have to squint at people when they were talking so I could focus enough through the headache to be able to process anything. It wasn't fun. So I decided to lay low for the week, take lots of naps, do as little as possible. I am so, so thankful that Justin was home through the hardest days and was able to pick up my slack. Love him. Thank you, Lord.
I went for an appointment at the fertility clinic yesterday and things are progressing as they should. For me, the best part of that was being able to start on some estrogen which = no more headaches! Hooray. I put the estrogen patches on last night and this morning when I woke up? The headache was gone. Phew! I talked to my mom on the ride home and was laughing a bit telling her I was so thankful to hear that my body was doing what it should - especially considering the fact that the M.O. for my body, in this area, is definitely to not do what it should. Ever. Kicking and screaming if you try to make it.
I've hesitated sharing all of this on my blog. Not that I don't want to share. If I knew you in person and saw you all face to face I would tell you everything. I'm just that way. This is not in my hands. It is not dependent on me. I still know, no matter what, that God brings the right children at the right time. HE alone is the one who plans families - as much as we think we are working at it, He has planned these things from the beginning of time. It is so good to rest in that knowledge. It's just that it's all so surreal to me still. Unbelievable at times. Like, do I dare voice it? Could this really be happening? You'd think I'd know it's real the moment I stick those darn needles into myself. But I suppose, just as I so often look at Steele, Adia and Xochi and think, "How in the world did you get here?! How did God's plans ever come about to bless me in such a way?!" ... I will always be in awe of life. And especially in awe of all of the creative and astounding ways God has brought life, these lives, to us.
June 9 is my next big appointment. As long as things are continuing as they should we will probably transfer the embryos in mid June. If you are a pray-er... please pray that God would preserve these little lives and that He would make just the right space for them in me. We'd really love to meet them.
I went for an appointment at the fertility clinic yesterday and things are progressing as they should. For me, the best part of that was being able to start on some estrogen which = no more headaches! Hooray. I put the estrogen patches on last night and this morning when I woke up? The headache was gone. Phew! I talked to my mom on the ride home and was laughing a bit telling her I was so thankful to hear that my body was doing what it should - especially considering the fact that the M.O. for my body, in this area, is definitely to not do what it should. Ever. Kicking and screaming if you try to make it.
I've hesitated sharing all of this on my blog. Not that I don't want to share. If I knew you in person and saw you all face to face I would tell you everything. I'm just that way. This is not in my hands. It is not dependent on me. I still know, no matter what, that God brings the right children at the right time. HE alone is the one who plans families - as much as we think we are working at it, He has planned these things from the beginning of time. It is so good to rest in that knowledge. It's just that it's all so surreal to me still. Unbelievable at times. Like, do I dare voice it? Could this really be happening? You'd think I'd know it's real the moment I stick those darn needles into myself. But I suppose, just as I so often look at Steele, Adia and Xochi and think, "How in the world did you get here?! How did God's plans ever come about to bless me in such a way?!" ... I will always be in awe of life. And especially in awe of all of the creative and astounding ways God has brought life, these lives, to us.
June 9 is my next big appointment. As long as things are continuing as they should we will probably transfer the embryos in mid June. If you are a pray-er... please pray that God would preserve these little lives and that He would make just the right space for them in me. We'd really love to meet them.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The Right Woman for the Job?
Around my breakfast table this morning....
Steele: Are you gonna get a baby in your tummy?
Me: I hope so!
(keep in mind that this is not the first time we've had this conversation and I'm guessing it won't be the last)
Steele: Is that why you have to get shots?
Me: yup!
Steele: Ohhhh Adia, I hope you never have a baby so you don't have to get shots!
Me: Well, Adia probably won't have to get shots. Hopefully her body will work how God made it to work and she will be able to have babies without taking shots. Mama's body can't grow babies on it's own so that's why I have to take shots.
Adia: Well, you grew Xochi in your tummy.
Me: (shocked at this insight into Adia's little brain)
Steele: No, Chelsea did.
Me: No, Amanda grew Xochi in her tummy.
Adia: (Eyes widening and a smile spreading across her face) MY Amanda??!!
Me: No, a different Amanda.
Me (in my mind): Ohhh boy....
I'm really glad I can trust that God thought I was cut out for this job, because sometimes I find it awfully comical.
Next up: How to explain to people that the baby growing in your tummy is actually adopted...
Steele: Are you gonna get a baby in your tummy?
Me: I hope so!
(keep in mind that this is not the first time we've had this conversation and I'm guessing it won't be the last)
Steele: Is that why you have to get shots?
Me: yup!
Steele: Ohhhh Adia, I hope you never have a baby so you don't have to get shots!
Me: Well, Adia probably won't have to get shots. Hopefully her body will work how God made it to work and she will be able to have babies without taking shots. Mama's body can't grow babies on it's own so that's why I have to take shots.
Adia: Well, you grew Xochi in your tummy.
Me: (shocked at this insight into Adia's little brain)
Steele: No, Chelsea did.
Me: No, Amanda grew Xochi in her tummy.
Adia: (Eyes widening and a smile spreading across her face) MY Amanda??!!
Me: No, a different Amanda.
Me (in my mind): Ohhh boy....
I'm really glad I can trust that God thought I was cut out for this job, because sometimes I find it awfully comical.
Next up: How to explain to people that the baby growing in your tummy is actually adopted...
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Update
Isn't this a creepy photo? It has nothing to do with anything.But I just couldn't come up with anything good. Maybe because at any given moment lately I feel like I could shut my eyes and fall asleep. Which is actually what I'm going to do as soon as I post this. Also, at any given moment, I feel like I could start crying. Do you know that feeling? Where you feel like you're on the verge of crying and you can just sort of feel it welling up in your chest and your throat? The thing is, I don't feel like crying over anything in particular, I just feel like crying.
All in all, it's not that bad though. Truly. I started birth control pills a week and a half ago to get my cycle on schedule. I start a different medication next week. Shots. In my stomach. Fun times. I've been trying to pace myself and my days. One thing at a time. A load of laundry here, a school lesson there. Taking purposeful, short moments to train my children, take a nap, lay out in the sun (on the two days we've had it this year) and read some things that feed my spirit. I've been avoiding people a little bit. Only because I'm a tad unpredictable right now. Even to myself. I also don't want to appear as though I'm complaining about anything. I know some people might think I'm looney for choosing this. It's hard to explain sometimes that we didn't choose it. God did. So it's just easier if I don't have to breach that topic.
Overall I have an overwhelming feeling of this all being very surreal. Ten years of being married, adopting 3 babies in 4 years, never trying and barely even thinking about fertility treatment and now here we are. It is still crazy to me. God crazy. Good crazy. The best kind of crazy.
A friend passed on this blog to me. If you're curious about the whole process of IVF or embryo adoption you might be interested to read it. The blogger is about where I am now if you go back to her posts from September '09. It's really interesting. I never knew. I still don't really know. I'm just doing what the doctor tells me to do. Checking off each day on my schedule calendar. Today: take a little red pill. Sunday and Monday: same. Tuesday: take little red pill, give myself a shot in the stomach.... until sometime in mid June: Take vallium, have doctor put baby inside me.
CRAZY!!!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
What My Heart Desires
A few of you have been asking if there are any baby updates and I'm so thankful to know you are all thinking about me and wondering. I hope you know that I never mind people asking. I'm pretty much an open person - open here, open in real life. Wait. Is this real life? Anyway, nothing new to report for now. There is some legal work that has to be done and none of the medical stuff can be started until that's done. So that's where we're at.
Along these lines though, I've been thinking about so many things lately. About babies. About family. About being a mother. About baby names! (which I pretty much do all the time) I feel ready for another baby. At least ready to be looking forward to another one.
People often ask us this question: How many do you want to have?
To casual friends or acquaintances, I usually tell the truth. Without hesitation. They look shocked for moment but then quickly move on, keeping their comments and judgement to themselves. Admittedly though, it is often most difficult to discuss this topic with those closest to us - to the ones who know us best, know our struggles and our weaknesses, our sinfulness and our imperfection. I read their critical questioning or their concerned silence - I know what they're thinking. Sometimes they're not just thinking it - sometimes they say it out loud.
You seem stressed out enough as it is.
You have your hands full with three.
When is it going to be enough already?
You can't save them all, you know! (Which, by the way, is not our goal. God is the only one in the business of saving)
Well I don't care how many kids people have, as long as they can pay for them all!
It's hard to hear sometimes. I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I wish I would just keep every challenge, every frustration, every impatient response to myself so that no one would know. But the truth is that being a parent is hard work. Harder than I ever thought it would be. Justin and I were a couple that talked at length about parenting before we ever had kids - we decided what kind of children and family we wanted, how we wanted to parent... and for the most part, we have stuck to that. And yet, it is still hard. It is not a magic formula where you shove kids in one end and have them come out uniformly on the other end. I'm fairly certain (I hope!) that if you asked this mom or this mom or this mom that they would tell you the same thing.
And still, my heart's desire is to have a large family.
I don't know if this is going to happen. That is for God alone to know and for me to trust. And I do trust Him. Implicitly. Sometimes I even wonder if I have the physical and emotional energy to raise and homeschool a lot of children. The answer to that is no. Right now, I don't. Sometimes I think ahead to how the Lord could possibly answer my prayers and I think, "Ack!! I was an only child raised by a single, newly-believing mother, all the while going to public school. I struggle with pain and fatigue and anxiety and hormones. I don't know what the trivium is or the difference between the Westminster and Heidelberg catechisms. I don't even think I remember how to do Algebra! Why in tarnation do I ever think I could do that?!?!" (ok, so I've never used the word tarnation, but you get the picture) Yet, when I imagine myself as a grandmother, as a mother-in-law... as an old woman on the doorstep of eternity - I see myself surrounded by family. Children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren - a miraculous and surprising HUMONGOUS heritage of faith that might, by God's grace, go on for generations. It would be my life's sweetest blessing.
So I pray, almost every day, that God would make me the kind of mama that would be able to raise many children. I pray for wisdom, grace, energy, tenderness and consistency. I pray that I would teach with patience and passion. I pray that I would be slow to anger and quick in love. I ask for diligence and organization and clarity. I ask that God would cause me to be faithful in what He's given me today as I trust Him for the rest. I am not perfect, I never will be. That is one thing I know for sure. I also know that God is able to equip me for whatever He puts before me.
So we'll see what happens.
And for the record, between you and me... maybe a nice round number like... 10? I have no idea how something crazy like that would happen....but you never know! God always seems to have some amazing adventures up His sleeve.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
If My Uterus Had Thumbs...
..they would be up!
Whew!! What a long, appointment filled day.... but we have arrived home from Seattle with exciting news. My uterus is looking mighty fine! Well, the inside of it at least. The outside? And it's buddies the ovaries? Notsomuch. But that's ok - they don't need to grow anything.
Amid the many medical details, there were several things that stood out to me today.
First, as I stood there looking into the room containing the freezers that hold the embryos... and as the embryologist explained to us the process these little babes have been through and that which they have yet to endure... I had one thought: How could anyone believe that life, and the intelligence that has brought these little lives to this point, has been initiated by anyone but God alone? How could all of that have come out of some little mud pool?! It couldn't! Because it is amazing, people! Miraculous! The temperature, the air, the cells, the science - they all pointed me to our amazing Creator. It was SO cool. And I wish you all could have been there with me. I almost cried.
Second, I am more confident than ever that God is leading us down this path. The doors seem to be flinging wide open and so, as I have said before, we will keep walking forward unless and until He directs us differently. I have no greater peace than to know we are in His will - whatever that may be.
And finally (for now, since I'm exhausted), I talked with my friend Amy on the way home and she reminded me of something so important that I had overlooked in my previous posts. She said to me, "I think some people might think this road has been easy for you because you have always gotten 'yeses'. But you haven't. You have also gotten 'nos'"
And it's true. We have prayed fervently regarding six different babies, of which, we have received three. And I had almost forgotten that. Not because I didn't care or because it wasn't important but because God is trustworthy. He is worthy of our trust. His plans are worthy of our trust. Those weren't my babies. If they were, God would have given them to me. And while they are beautiful, delightful children - I didn't want them. I only wanted mine. Does that make sense? I could not mourn over them.. because they were never mine. They were somebody else's - God planned it that way from the beginning. So we rejoiced! We rejoiced in God's plan for us, for our own children, for those other children and for the families that get to love them.
After talking with the doctors today, we are moving toward transferring the embryos in January or early February. Please rejoice with us as God reveals His will. Rejoice as He reveals His will for your own lives! We would also truly appreciate your prayers - for all the details and mostly for these little babies. That God would preserve them and that He might, in His timing and way, give just the right ones the opportunity to grow. In ME! Isn't that crazy!?!?
This picture has nothing to do with anything.
Except maybe to remind you that: It's almost ski season!
In fact, the mountain might open on Saturday.
In case any of you are as ski crazy as the people who live in my home.
Whew!! What a long, appointment filled day.... but we have arrived home from Seattle with exciting news. My uterus is looking mighty fine! Well, the inside of it at least. The outside? And it's buddies the ovaries? Notsomuch. But that's ok - they don't need to grow anything.
Amid the many medical details, there were several things that stood out to me today.
First, as I stood there looking into the room containing the freezers that hold the embryos... and as the embryologist explained to us the process these little babes have been through and that which they have yet to endure... I had one thought: How could anyone believe that life, and the intelligence that has brought these little lives to this point, has been initiated by anyone but God alone? How could all of that have come out of some little mud pool?! It couldn't! Because it is amazing, people! Miraculous! The temperature, the air, the cells, the science - they all pointed me to our amazing Creator. It was SO cool. And I wish you all could have been there with me. I almost cried.
Second, I am more confident than ever that God is leading us down this path. The doors seem to be flinging wide open and so, as I have said before, we will keep walking forward unless and until He directs us differently. I have no greater peace than to know we are in His will - whatever that may be.
And finally (for now, since I'm exhausted), I talked with my friend Amy on the way home and she reminded me of something so important that I had overlooked in my previous posts. She said to me, "I think some people might think this road has been easy for you because you have always gotten 'yeses'. But you haven't. You have also gotten 'nos'"
And it's true. We have prayed fervently regarding six different babies, of which, we have received three. And I had almost forgotten that. Not because I didn't care or because it wasn't important but because God is trustworthy. He is worthy of our trust. His plans are worthy of our trust. Those weren't my babies. If they were, God would have given them to me. And while they are beautiful, delightful children - I didn't want them. I only wanted mine. Does that make sense? I could not mourn over them.. because they were never mine. They were somebody else's - God planned it that way from the beginning. So we rejoiced! We rejoiced in God's plan for us, for our own children, for those other children and for the families that get to love them.
After talking with the doctors today, we are moving toward transferring the embryos in January or early February. Please rejoice with us as God reveals His will. Rejoice as He reveals His will for your own lives! We would also truly appreciate your prayers - for all the details and mostly for these little babies. That God would preserve them and that He might, in His timing and way, give just the right ones the opportunity to grow. In ME! Isn't that crazy!?!?
This picture has nothing to do with anything.Except maybe to remind you that: It's almost ski season!
In fact, the mountain might open on Saturday.
In case any of you are as ski crazy as the people who live in my home.
Obedience Cont'd
But first... a little administrative work.
Please accept my apologies for not always responding specifically to your comments. I try, try being the key word, to respond to you in the comments if you ask me a specific question. ie. Where'd you get that? How'd you do that? etc. Please know that I LOVE all of your comments but usually by the time I have finished writing a blog post I have children hanging off of me, a husband asking me questions about a recipe from the kitchen, my mom calling me on the phone, the dryer singing out it's "buzzzz... I'm done" and the dog barking at the front door to get in... and when all of that is happening well, I don't always have time to respond. You all know how it goes, right?
Second, I really want you all to know why I'm sharing these things with you. It is because I want to share a deep truth I have learned along the way - for us, it applies to building our family but truly, it can be applied to any situation in life. It is simply, this:
God, and God alone, is the one who builds families. He does it in creative and varied ways and in His time. We can either go kicking and screaming, demanding our own way, dragging our heels while He brings us to blessing the hard way.... or we can go along with excitement, thankfulness, joy and expectation.
I'm not sure how God's sovereignty works - I believe He is sovereign and I believe God always accomplishes His plans despite us. But people often say to me that it seems like our adoptions were "easy." To that I usually respond with what I shared above - that when you fight and push against God's will, it seems hard. Laborious. Looooong. When we submit to Him and wait on Him, doing the things He has set directly before us in the mean time? Well, it doesn't seem as hard. It does not diminish God's miracle of children, it changes our perspective and experience. It reveals again that God does not conform to us but rather, we are to be conformed to Him.
On this topic of God's sovereignty - because really, I could go on and on with stories and things that God has taught me (and maybe one day I will). But on the topic of sovereignty - I often tell people that God did not look down - ever - and say, "Oh no!! Cutzi is not getting pregnant!! Whatever am I going to do???!!" He also did not look down at Steele's birthmother and say, "Great! Chelsea's pregnant. Now what am I supposed to do?" Nope. It was His plan all along. Nothing happens in this world that has not gone through God's filter - nothing that He has not allowed, ordained, for His purposes. When I have an accurate understanding of how God works it affects every part of my experience.
For example, when people ask:
Is it ever hard for you to have communication with their birthparents? No, because God made me their mama. He also gave them birthparents. That was His plan and who am I to question that?
What do you tell your kids about adoption? I tell them that it was part of God's plan all along. That God planned for them to have birthparents and that He planned for us to be their mama and papa. Some kids are adopted, some kids are not. Some kids have red hair, some have brown eyes. I tell them that God has plans to redeem even our sinful choices - things that were outside of His best for us. It is easy for my kids to understand this quality of God when we teach them about people like Jacob from the Old Testament - God brought about His plans, despite anyone's efforts to thwart them.
Are you nervous about drug and alcohol exposure? Concerned? Maybe - because of the obvious... no child should have to endure those effects. Nervous? No, because God saw fit to make me their mama. He will give me what I need to parent them. Even if I had given birth to a child, he/she could have any number of challenges for which God would equip me. We cannot parent any child effectively apart from God's direction.
Do you think every family should adopt? Not necessarily. Not unless it's part of God's plan for them. ;-) Here's what I think: If it's on your radar - you should tell God you'll do whatever He leads you to. If it's not on your radar - don't worry about it.
See? It changes so much!
So here I am, 9 or 10 paragraphs into this and I still haven't told you a thing.
Several months ago, we attended our adoption agency's annual summer picnic. While there, our social worker asked me what was next for our family, if we wanted more children? I gave her my usual response, "Well, we'd love to have a large family. We'll see what God has for us." I began to talk to her about our considerations regarding IVF. I've often thought that getting pregnant might be good for my body - it has been known to help women with endometriosis. It's also helpful in preventing certain types of cancer in women. But we have so many uncertainties regarding IVF - questions we just hadn't felt ready to approach, both ethically and economically. And really, thus far, God has been doing a pretty good job building our family - so much so that we haven't really even had time to think about it.
As we were talking, she directed me to a family who had done IVF and said they could probably offer some good insight. Now, for brevity's sake, I won't get into all the many details about what happened next - I'll skip to the end and maybe fill you in more at another time. Because the details.. well, the details - the amazing, God-ordained, sovereign, non-coincidental details are always the best parts.
After meeting this family and talking with them - they shared with us that they had "leftover" embryos that they were not able to use due to health risks. They have been praying for a family that might adopt them. And, as you might have guessed, we might just be that family!
I know I am skipping over so much and there are likely many questions rushing through your brain - my brain still cannot conceive of this sometimes. But I'll bet these might be on the top of your list:
So who would carry these babies? ME!
How many are there? 5
Would you do all 5? Yes, but not at the same time. And statistically, there will probably be some that don't survive thawing and implantation. But we also know God often pays no heed to statistics.
Could you have twins? Yes, it is a possibility.
When would you do this?
Well, let's not jump ahead of ourselves quite yet. Today, we have our first appointment at the fertility clinic. They will do an exam, blood work etc. to determine if my body would be able to carry these babies. This is the first step and we'll only be able to move forward if everything checks out ok. But remember my theology? God builds families. In His way and in His timing.
So today, we keep trusting, keep following and keep moving forward until God directs us elsewhere. We haven't questioned it. We've been praying. They've been praying. And here we are. We do not believe God hides His will from us - He wants to lead us as we obey Him and we only want what He has for us. And if this is what He has for us? We are totally excited! .... and quite a bit nervous. Me? Pregnant? SO weird!
but maybe January would be a good month to grow a baby?
Please accept my apologies for not always responding specifically to your comments. I try, try being the key word, to respond to you in the comments if you ask me a specific question. ie. Where'd you get that? How'd you do that? etc. Please know that I LOVE all of your comments but usually by the time I have finished writing a blog post I have children hanging off of me, a husband asking me questions about a recipe from the kitchen, my mom calling me on the phone, the dryer singing out it's "buzzzz... I'm done" and the dog barking at the front door to get in... and when all of that is happening well, I don't always have time to respond. You all know how it goes, right?
Second, I really want you all to know why I'm sharing these things with you. It is because I want to share a deep truth I have learned along the way - for us, it applies to building our family but truly, it can be applied to any situation in life. It is simply, this:
God, and God alone, is the one who builds families. He does it in creative and varied ways and in His time. We can either go kicking and screaming, demanding our own way, dragging our heels while He brings us to blessing the hard way.... or we can go along with excitement, thankfulness, joy and expectation.
I'm not sure how God's sovereignty works - I believe He is sovereign and I believe God always accomplishes His plans despite us. But people often say to me that it seems like our adoptions were "easy." To that I usually respond with what I shared above - that when you fight and push against God's will, it seems hard. Laborious. Looooong. When we submit to Him and wait on Him, doing the things He has set directly before us in the mean time? Well, it doesn't seem as hard. It does not diminish God's miracle of children, it changes our perspective and experience. It reveals again that God does not conform to us but rather, we are to be conformed to Him.
On this topic of God's sovereignty - because really, I could go on and on with stories and things that God has taught me (and maybe one day I will). But on the topic of sovereignty - I often tell people that God did not look down - ever - and say, "Oh no!! Cutzi is not getting pregnant!! Whatever am I going to do???!!" He also did not look down at Steele's birthmother and say, "Great! Chelsea's pregnant. Now what am I supposed to do?" Nope. It was His plan all along. Nothing happens in this world that has not gone through God's filter - nothing that He has not allowed, ordained, for His purposes. When I have an accurate understanding of how God works it affects every part of my experience.
For example, when people ask:
Is it ever hard for you to have communication with their birthparents? No, because God made me their mama. He also gave them birthparents. That was His plan and who am I to question that?
What do you tell your kids about adoption? I tell them that it was part of God's plan all along. That God planned for them to have birthparents and that He planned for us to be their mama and papa. Some kids are adopted, some kids are not. Some kids have red hair, some have brown eyes. I tell them that God has plans to redeem even our sinful choices - things that were outside of His best for us. It is easy for my kids to understand this quality of God when we teach them about people like Jacob from the Old Testament - God brought about His plans, despite anyone's efforts to thwart them.
Are you nervous about drug and alcohol exposure? Concerned? Maybe - because of the obvious... no child should have to endure those effects. Nervous? No, because God saw fit to make me their mama. He will give me what I need to parent them. Even if I had given birth to a child, he/she could have any number of challenges for which God would equip me. We cannot parent any child effectively apart from God's direction.
Do you think every family should adopt? Not necessarily. Not unless it's part of God's plan for them. ;-) Here's what I think: If it's on your radar - you should tell God you'll do whatever He leads you to. If it's not on your radar - don't worry about it.
See? It changes so much!
So here I am, 9 or 10 paragraphs into this and I still haven't told you a thing.
Several months ago, we attended our adoption agency's annual summer picnic. While there, our social worker asked me what was next for our family, if we wanted more children? I gave her my usual response, "Well, we'd love to have a large family. We'll see what God has for us." I began to talk to her about our considerations regarding IVF. I've often thought that getting pregnant might be good for my body - it has been known to help women with endometriosis. It's also helpful in preventing certain types of cancer in women. But we have so many uncertainties regarding IVF - questions we just hadn't felt ready to approach, both ethically and economically. And really, thus far, God has been doing a pretty good job building our family - so much so that we haven't really even had time to think about it.
As we were talking, she directed me to a family who had done IVF and said they could probably offer some good insight. Now, for brevity's sake, I won't get into all the many details about what happened next - I'll skip to the end and maybe fill you in more at another time. Because the details.. well, the details - the amazing, God-ordained, sovereign, non-coincidental details are always the best parts.
After meeting this family and talking with them - they shared with us that they had "leftover" embryos that they were not able to use due to health risks. They have been praying for a family that might adopt them. And, as you might have guessed, we might just be that family!
I know I am skipping over so much and there are likely many questions rushing through your brain - my brain still cannot conceive of this sometimes. But I'll bet these might be on the top of your list:
So who would carry these babies? ME!
How many are there? 5
Would you do all 5? Yes, but not at the same time. And statistically, there will probably be some that don't survive thawing and implantation. But we also know God often pays no heed to statistics.
Could you have twins? Yes, it is a possibility.
When would you do this?
Well, let's not jump ahead of ourselves quite yet. Today, we have our first appointment at the fertility clinic. They will do an exam, blood work etc. to determine if my body would be able to carry these babies. This is the first step and we'll only be able to move forward if everything checks out ok. But remember my theology? God builds families. In His way and in His timing.
So today, we keep trusting, keep following and keep moving forward until God directs us elsewhere. We haven't questioned it. We've been praying. They've been praying. And here we are. We do not believe God hides His will from us - He wants to lead us as we obey Him and we only want what He has for us. And if this is what He has for us? We are totally excited! .... and quite a bit nervous. Me? Pregnant? SO weird!
but maybe January would be a good month to grow a baby?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
On Obedience
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow we start down another part of the path that God has chosen for us to build our family.
I contemplated titling this post "On Adoption" but to me, it is not about adoption at all. In fact, often times I find myself feeling a little bristly when people make comments to me like, "I know you have a heart for adoption" or "I have a friend who has been trying and trying to have a baby and they finally decided to look into adoption. Would you mind if I gave her your info?"
I know what the intent is behind these types of comments and I certainly don't mind, at all, talking to people about adoption. But if I were to answer them honestly they would probably be taken aback a little by my response. And my response, honestly, would be this (and please do not read any sarcasm into this, because I am not being sarcastic in the least):
Well, actually, I don't have a heart for adoption. I have heart for obedience. I desire children because God says they're a blessing.
or
Well, yes, I'll talk to them - but what I'd love to talk to them about is obedience and the blessing it brings.
or maybe
Well, first, let's talk a little bit about your theology. What you think about God. What you think about man and what you think man's response to God should be.
And the number one thing that makes my skin crawl?
That is so good of you to adopt!
Please don't ever say that to me. And I won't ever say to you, "That is so good of you to get pregnant!" Let's just agree - it is SO good of God to create life and to bless us with it. We are part of HIS plans alone.
Because you see obedience, children, family, theology - these are the things that are truly important to me.
In order to understand where I come from on all of this I should probably explain some things first. I don't believe anything I believe because it is something I have conjured up in my own mind and heart, I believe it because of my theology (what I believe about God, myself and what I should do about it). My theology has been formed from my God-given intelligence (not from myself) and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit through what is revealed in scripture. I believe the Bible is true (if you don't believe me, ask Voddie and you'll believe it's true too) and that because I am a loved and forgiven sinner who needs Jesus, I should do what the Bible says.
So, in short, my theology:
God: That He is who He says He is in the Bible
Me: That I am God's creation and that I am a sinner who deserves death but have been given life only because of my faith in Jesus. This faith has been imparted to me by the Holy Spirit.
What should I do about it: Love God - the way I love Him is to obey Him.
That said, let's take a look at just one of the many verses in which God talks about children... and then consider what we should do about what He says.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
(Psalms 127:3-5 ESV)
Here's what I get from this verse.
Children are: a heritage, a reward, a blessing
The purpose of children are: to defend God's kingdom? to further it? to be a heritage? To bring glory to God.
How many children we should have: Well, it doesn't say exactly, but I'm guessing that one or two, doubtful if even three, are going to get you very far in a battle. Just sayin'.
The giver of the reward: God
A quick look into Romans 5 tells us a little more about what we need to understand in regard to this whole topic of children. But the thing that has stood out to me the most on our own journey, the thing that God has impressed on my heart time and time again is this:
I do not deserve God's blessing. I do not deserve children. In fact, according to Romans 5, I deserve God's wrath. I do not get to choose if God will bless me, when He will bless me, how He will bless me, with how many He will bless me. The only things I get to choose is if I will love Him through my obedience to Him and if I will choose this obedience joyfully.
Now, with modern technology and adoption and blah de blah de blah... it sure seems like we get to choose but I assure you, we don't. God is still the blesser and we, the blessees.
So what has this meant for me? Well, many things, but these two mostly:
1. I do not get to be disappointed about not receiving God's blessing as if I had deserved them. Now, I don't mean that sadness or hopefulness doesn't have it's place sometimes, but I certainly don't get to pout or question God's choosing or stomp my feet etc. etc. This would be unbelief.
2. (here's where you all pull out your cyber-hilighters) If I choose to be disappointed, pout, stomp my feet, carry on...I just waste time that could be spent in eager and joyful anticipation of the adventure God has in store for me. And who wants to do that?? And lest you all think I'm just a downer, here's the really awesome part: God loves us and wants to bless us! He wants to bless us in amazing, fun, miraculous, surprising ways that bring glory to Him AND He lets us be a part of it all! And let me tell you, from experience, being a part of God's plan for our family is beyond anything I ever could have imagined. It has been humbling and an honor to walk side by side with the Lord as He has revealed each step.
With that, I think I'll finish my story tomorrow morning... how's that for a teaser? (most of you already know anyway, right?)
Tomorrow we start down another part of the path that God has chosen for us to build our family.
I contemplated titling this post "On Adoption" but to me, it is not about adoption at all. In fact, often times I find myself feeling a little bristly when people make comments to me like, "I know you have a heart for adoption" or "I have a friend who has been trying and trying to have a baby and they finally decided to look into adoption. Would you mind if I gave her your info?"
I know what the intent is behind these types of comments and I certainly don't mind, at all, talking to people about adoption. But if I were to answer them honestly they would probably be taken aback a little by my response. And my response, honestly, would be this (and please do not read any sarcasm into this, because I am not being sarcastic in the least):
Well, actually, I don't have a heart for adoption. I have heart for obedience. I desire children because God says they're a blessing.
or
Well, yes, I'll talk to them - but what I'd love to talk to them about is obedience and the blessing it brings.
or maybe
Well, first, let's talk a little bit about your theology. What you think about God. What you think about man and what you think man's response to God should be.
And the number one thing that makes my skin crawl?
That is so good of you to adopt!
Please don't ever say that to me. And I won't ever say to you, "That is so good of you to get pregnant!" Let's just agree - it is SO good of God to create life and to bless us with it. We are part of HIS plans alone.
Because you see obedience, children, family, theology - these are the things that are truly important to me.
One Blessing
So, in short, my theology:
God: That He is who He says He is in the Bible
Me: That I am God's creation and that I am a sinner who deserves death but have been given life only because of my faith in Jesus. This faith has been imparted to me by the Holy Spirit.
What should I do about it: Love God - the way I love Him is to obey Him.
That said, let's take a look at just one of the many verses in which God talks about children... and then consider what we should do about what He says.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
(Psalms 127:3-5 ESV)
Here's what I get from this verse.
Children are: a heritage, a reward, a blessing
The purpose of children are: to defend God's kingdom? to further it? to be a heritage? To bring glory to God.
How many children we should have: Well, it doesn't say exactly, but I'm guessing that one or two, doubtful if even three, are going to get you very far in a battle. Just sayin'.
The giver of the reward: God
A quick look into Romans 5 tells us a little more about what we need to understand in regard to this whole topic of children. But the thing that has stood out to me the most on our own journey, the thing that God has impressed on my heart time and time again is this:
I do not deserve God's blessing. I do not deserve children. In fact, according to Romans 5, I deserve God's wrath. I do not get to choose if God will bless me, when He will bless me, how He will bless me, with how many He will bless me. The only things I get to choose is if I will love Him through my obedience to Him and if I will choose this obedience joyfully.
Now, with modern technology and adoption and blah de blah de blah... it sure seems like we get to choose but I assure you, we don't. God is still the blesser and we, the blessees.
Two Blessings
So what has this meant for me? Well, many things, but these two mostly:
1. I do not get to be disappointed about not receiving God's blessing as if I had deserved them. Now, I don't mean that sadness or hopefulness doesn't have it's place sometimes, but I certainly don't get to pout or question God's choosing or stomp my feet etc. etc. This would be unbelief.
2. (here's where you all pull out your cyber-hilighters) If I choose to be disappointed, pout, stomp my feet, carry on...I just waste time that could be spent in eager and joyful anticipation of the adventure God has in store for me. And who wants to do that?? And lest you all think I'm just a downer, here's the really awesome part: God loves us and wants to bless us! He wants to bless us in amazing, fun, miraculous, surprising ways that bring glory to Him AND He lets us be a part of it all! And let me tell you, from experience, being a part of God's plan for our family is beyond anything I ever could have imagined. It has been humbling and an honor to walk side by side with the Lord as He has revealed each step.
Three Blessings
(op! Sorry.. can't show you that one - might be our Christmas card pic)
I know I've said much of this before, but I thought it was timely to say again. If any of you have hung in here for this long, bless YOU!(op! Sorry.. can't show you that one - might be our Christmas card pic)
With that, I think I'll finish my story tomorrow morning... how's that for a teaser? (most of you already know anyway, right?)
Friday, September 3, 2010
Missing My Blog
Hey guys!
Wowzers. There is A LOT going on in the J family and I want to share it all. The problem is that with so much to tell, I often don't know where to begin.
And SO many pictures to get caught up on! A whole summer of them.
Maybe with fall and a more predictable schedule I'll be able to get into a better blog routine.
For now, I'm hoping this will give me a bit of accountability to get back here.
It also doesn't help that I have been up late at night doing who-knows-what. I prefer to blog in the morning but I've been too exhausted when I wake up.
There are some very exciting prospects up ahead. Can't wait to see what God has in store. My mom thinks I should write a book... and maybe I will.
Wowzers. There is A LOT going on in the J family and I want to share it all. The problem is that with so much to tell, I often don't know where to begin.
And SO many pictures to get caught up on! A whole summer of them.
Maybe with fall and a more predictable schedule I'll be able to get into a better blog routine.
For now, I'm hoping this will give me a bit of accountability to get back here.
It also doesn't help that I have been up late at night doing who-knows-what. I prefer to blog in the morning but I've been too exhausted when I wake up.
There are some very exciting prospects up ahead. Can't wait to see what God has in store. My mom thinks I should write a book... and maybe I will.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Wrong Side
What seems to have happened at my house this morning is that, while I have woken up on the very right side of the bed... my children have woken up on the very wrooooong side.
Between 7:30 and 9:30 a.m.:
Steele has been continually disrespectful.
Adia has used every excuse she could think of to not pick up her playdough.
Xochi threw a fit in her seat and while arching her back and flailing about, she knocked her tray, along with all her food, onto the floor.
Even though I was very proud of myself for making a deliciously, healthful breakfast - both Steele and Adia have decided that they don't like egg cupcakes or sweet potato with cinnamon.
So what's a mama to do? I'm using avoidance techniques. Steele and Adia have been directed to sit in silence at the table until their meals are finished and I have decided to sit down at the computer and post a bit about our weekend. (with a few disciplinary breaks here and there) And then it's off to swim lessons!
Every year our adoption agency, Adoption Ministry of YWAM, hosts a picnic for all their adoptive families. In the past, we haven't been able to attend so I really wanted to make it this year. We have been so blessed by their ministry and love all the staff. It's also a wonderful opportunity to connect with other families. The picnic was three hours away so we decided to combine it with a trip to see Justin's parents. We were also able to fit in dinner with Adia's birth mother Sunday evening. It was a full, fun, exciting weekend. Of course, I didn't manage to bring out my camera at the picnic but I was able to get a couple sweet ones of Adia and Amanda.
Just a leeetle crash.
Between 7:30 and 9:30 a.m.:
Steele has been continually disrespectful.
Adia has used every excuse she could think of to not pick up her playdough.
- I'm too tired
- I have to go to the bathroom
Xochi threw a fit in her seat and while arching her back and flailing about, she knocked her tray, along with all her food, onto the floor.
Even though I was very proud of myself for making a deliciously, healthful breakfast - both Steele and Adia have decided that they don't like egg cupcakes or sweet potato with cinnamon.
So what's a mama to do? I'm using avoidance techniques. Steele and Adia have been directed to sit in silence at the table until their meals are finished and I have decided to sit down at the computer and post a bit about our weekend. (with a few disciplinary breaks here and there) And then it's off to swim lessons!
Every year our adoption agency, Adoption Ministry of YWAM, hosts a picnic for all their adoptive families. In the past, we haven't been able to attend so I really wanted to make it this year. We have been so blessed by their ministry and love all the staff. It's also a wonderful opportunity to connect with other families. The picnic was three hours away so we decided to combine it with a trip to see Justin's parents. We were also able to fit in dinner with Adia's birth mother Sunday evening. It was a full, fun, exciting weekend. Of course, I didn't manage to bring out my camera at the picnic but I was able to get a couple sweet ones of Adia and Amanda.
Adia has a wild look in her eye for some reason!
Not completely recovered from smashing her finger in the bathroom door.
Riding bikes down Grandma and Grandpa's sweet hill.
Just a leeetle crash.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Not yet...
But maybe soon. And if not soon - then tomorrow morning for sure.
So we went to the doctor this morning and even after they told her yesterday morning that they would induce her today - they didn't. When they called over to the hospital the doctor said that it was too late of a start to do it this morning. They made an appointment for her at 7:30 tomorrow and sent her over to the hospital for a stress test since Xochi hasn't been moving very much. They said if she was stressed they would induce her then and there. But she's healthy and moving fine. Which is awesome, of course.
We were all a little deflated at that point. I think Amanda, her mom and I all felt like crying but none of us did. And none of us told eachother we wanted to until later. Well... Amanda said she did in the exam room to try and get them to induce her but it didn't work.
Poor Amanda. She is totally done. I feel bad for her. And to top it all off, tomorrow is also her birthday.
We decided to take matters into our own hands a little bit. We went for lunch at this place called Diego's. It was seriously the best food I may have ever had in my life. Then we went and bought a bottle of castor oil which she promptly downed. And then we set out walking.... (and shopping)
So we went to the doctor this morning and even after they told her yesterday morning that they would induce her today - they didn't. When they called over to the hospital the doctor said that it was too late of a start to do it this morning. They made an appointment for her at 7:30 tomorrow and sent her over to the hospital for a stress test since Xochi hasn't been moving very much. They said if she was stressed they would induce her then and there. But she's healthy and moving fine. Which is awesome, of course.
We were all a little deflated at that point. I think Amanda, her mom and I all felt like crying but none of us did. And none of us told eachother we wanted to until later. Well... Amanda said she did in the exam room to try and get them to induce her but it didn't work.
Poor Amanda. She is totally done. I feel bad for her. And to top it all off, tomorrow is also her birthday.
We decided to take matters into our own hands a little bit. We went for lunch at this place called Diego's. It was seriously the best food I may have ever had in my life. Then we went and bought a bottle of castor oil which she promptly downed. And then we set out walking.... (and shopping)
After that I came back to the hotel, took a nap and am now waiting to hear if anything more is happening.
Amanda thinks it will be tonight.
I hope so!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Swimming Fingers
A little update:
This morning I was talking with a friend of mine who is a dula and we were discussing the status of little Xochi. She recommended a couple of things to help get Amanda's labor started and also told me a funny story about laboring with her 6th? 5th? pretty sure 6th child. She said she had tried some things to get labor going and mentioned to her midwife that it really, oddly enough, felt like she could feel little fingers in her um... you know... hoo ha. Well, wouldn't you know - when baby Katherine was born she was born with her hand up by her cheek. She musta been tickling her mama all along.
So I was talking with Amanda this afternoon. She went swimming with her family today and really started to feel some strong contractions. Changing from braxton hicks in the front to stronger, more painful ones lower down and in her back. Then - you won't believe this - she said that she told her mom that it totally feels like she can feel little fingers in her um... you know... hoo ha!!! GET OUT!! I couldn't believe it and told her the story of my friend this morning. It was hilarious!
Justin is off unti Wednesday so NOW would be perfect timing. But you know how babies are with their perfect timing.
Also, Jodi (and I think someone else) had asked about induction on the 28th. Amanda said she talked with her doctor again last week and this time the doctor told her that it is their policy to not induce until 41 weeks. Sooooo.... with that little policy in place we could be lookin' at June 8th.
I imagine some of you are probably a mite confused about the whole due date thing and why in the world I thought Xochi would arrive earlier. Amanda's due dates have been jumbled from the start. She was not sure when she got pregnant and there were some other factors that could have made it more difficult to determine an accurate due date at the beginning. Her first due date was May 8. Then June 2. Then "probably more like" May 20. She's also moved and had 3 different doctors during this pregnancy. It's all confusing and there are so many variables. BUT, one thing for sure - she has to come sometime!
I informed Justin today that I'm going to give him my password and show him how to post things so that he can update you all while I'm in California. So be sure and give him a hard time. ;-)
This morning I was talking with a friend of mine who is a dula and we were discussing the status of little Xochi. She recommended a couple of things to help get Amanda's labor started and also told me a funny story about laboring with her 6th? 5th? pretty sure 6th child. She said she had tried some things to get labor going and mentioned to her midwife that it really, oddly enough, felt like she could feel little fingers in her um... you know... hoo ha. Well, wouldn't you know - when baby Katherine was born she was born with her hand up by her cheek. She musta been tickling her mama all along.
So I was talking with Amanda this afternoon. She went swimming with her family today and really started to feel some strong contractions. Changing from braxton hicks in the front to stronger, more painful ones lower down and in her back. Then - you won't believe this - she said that she told her mom that it totally feels like she can feel little fingers in her um... you know... hoo ha!!! GET OUT!! I couldn't believe it and told her the story of my friend this morning. It was hilarious!
Justin is off unti Wednesday so NOW would be perfect timing. But you know how babies are with their perfect timing.
Also, Jodi (and I think someone else) had asked about induction on the 28th. Amanda said she talked with her doctor again last week and this time the doctor told her that it is their policy to not induce until 41 weeks. Sooooo.... with that little policy in place we could be lookin' at June 8th.
I imagine some of you are probably a mite confused about the whole due date thing and why in the world I thought Xochi would arrive earlier. Amanda's due dates have been jumbled from the start. She was not sure when she got pregnant and there were some other factors that could have made it more difficult to determine an accurate due date at the beginning. Her first due date was May 8. Then June 2. Then "probably more like" May 20. She's also moved and had 3 different doctors during this pregnancy. It's all confusing and there are so many variables. BUT, one thing for sure - she has to come sometime!
I informed Justin today that I'm going to give him my password and show him how to post things so that he can update you all while I'm in California. So be sure and give him a hard time. ;-)
Friday, May 22, 2009
Dropped
Amanda said she went to bed last night feeling like something a little different was happening and when she got up everyone told her Xochi had definitely dropped. So this is good... another step closer. A good friend who's having her 5th baby said at least this should help get her further dilated.
I'm not feeling as impatient as I was a few days ago though. I'm definitely going to blame that one on hormones. But I am feeling super duper excited. During every single thing we do I think to myself, "Pretty soon Xochi will be with us when we do this!" Yay!
I also got a wise word of advice from my dear friend Amy. Some of you may not know this but Amy is also due with her 5th baby in June. Adia and their daughter Ava are only 2 weeks apart and it looks like Xochi and their newest little one will be about the same. It's so fun to raise families together with dear friends. Anyway, back to the advice. Amy and I were on the phone the other day and she said, "Well, I have one thing to say...." I was waiting for some wise, biblical revelation from the other end of the line..... "Watch lots of t.v."
Hahahahahaha!!!
Very wise words. And actually, it's been a great help to endure these last few days - especially when Justin is at work. Thank you, reality t.v.!!
Well, that and books. I checked out a load of 'em from the library the other day:
Found Style
Amy Butler's Midwest Modern
What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations
Bringing Up Boys
Simple Gifts to Stich
Between barbecues, Costco, parades, house cleaning, running, gardening and the myriad of bumps and scrapes that have arrived with warm weather and shorts....
they're helping to pass the time.
I'm thankful.
I'm not feeling as impatient as I was a few days ago though. I'm definitely going to blame that one on hormones. But I am feeling super duper excited. During every single thing we do I think to myself, "Pretty soon Xochi will be with us when we do this!" Yay!
I also got a wise word of advice from my dear friend Amy. Some of you may not know this but Amy is also due with her 5th baby in June. Adia and their daughter Ava are only 2 weeks apart and it looks like Xochi and their newest little one will be about the same. It's so fun to raise families together with dear friends. Anyway, back to the advice. Amy and I were on the phone the other day and she said, "Well, I have one thing to say...." I was waiting for some wise, biblical revelation from the other end of the line..... "Watch lots of t.v."
Hahahahahaha!!!
Very wise words. And actually, it's been a great help to endure these last few days - especially when Justin is at work. Thank you, reality t.v.!!
Well, that and books. I checked out a load of 'em from the library the other day:
Found Style
Amy Butler's Midwest Modern
What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations
Bringing Up Boys
Simple Gifts to Stich
Between barbecues, Costco, parades, house cleaning, running, gardening and the myriad of bumps and scrapes that have arrived with warm weather and shorts....
they're helping to pass the time.
I'm thankful.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Nothing
Don't worry - my absence does not mean that little XM has decided to make her appearance. Even if I don't have time to pack a sufficient supply of clean underwear and have to turn pairs inside out, I will make sure I post to let you all know when I leave.
I talk with Amanda just about every other day (I decided it's probably not a big deal if you know her name - I just wanted to be sure and be respectful. But she wouldn't mind.) Anyway - I talk with her every other day or so and she's pretty miserable. But no more miserable than any other pregnant woman is at this stage of the game. She went to the hospital Monday night because she's been having some pretty bad swelling in her legs and pains in her stomach. They checked her this time - still a one. Hmph. She's been having more frequent contractions and says some of them are starting to hurt. She got up in the middle of the night last night and she said it hurt her so badly to walk. Frankly, I am more impatient with this baby than I ever was with Adia and Steele. I don't know if it's because it's been so long since we've had a baby or because travel plans etc. are still so sketchy or a combination of both. Probably a combination.
Anyhow, our current travel plans are that Amanda will call me as soon as she thinks she is going into labor. I will then try and find a flight and fly down by myself. Steele's birth grandmother (Kathy - Chelsea's mom) is going to pick me up at the airport and drive me to the hospital. *Hopefully* just in time to see Xochi's grand entrance. If they discharge Xochi from the hospital within a day or two then the two of us will fly home together. If we have to stay longer, Justin is going to drive down with the kids to get me.... um.. us. How cool is that? US! But see what I mean? Sketchy. Basically, there are only a few ideal moments of each day that Amanda could go into labor that will get me down there in time.
And that's it. Amanda and I agreed that we're going to make as many plans for ourselves as possible because babies generally decide to arrive right in the middle of important plans. So tomorrow's plans? Hopefully the farmers market again in the morning and then a 30th birthday party in the evening. Not hugely important, but plans nonetheless.
I talk with Amanda just about every other day (I decided it's probably not a big deal if you know her name - I just wanted to be sure and be respectful. But she wouldn't mind.) Anyway - I talk with her every other day or so and she's pretty miserable. But no more miserable than any other pregnant woman is at this stage of the game. She went to the hospital Monday night because she's been having some pretty bad swelling in her legs and pains in her stomach. They checked her this time - still a one. Hmph. She's been having more frequent contractions and says some of them are starting to hurt. She got up in the middle of the night last night and she said it hurt her so badly to walk. Frankly, I am more impatient with this baby than I ever was with Adia and Steele. I don't know if it's because it's been so long since we've had a baby or because travel plans etc. are still so sketchy or a combination of both. Probably a combination.
Anyhow, our current travel plans are that Amanda will call me as soon as she thinks she is going into labor. I will then try and find a flight and fly down by myself. Steele's birth grandmother (Kathy - Chelsea's mom) is going to pick me up at the airport and drive me to the hospital. *Hopefully* just in time to see Xochi's grand entrance. If they discharge Xochi from the hospital within a day or two then the two of us will fly home together. If we have to stay longer, Justin is going to drive down with the kids to get me.... um.. us. How cool is that? US! But see what I mean? Sketchy. Basically, there are only a few ideal moments of each day that Amanda could go into labor that will get me down there in time.
And that's it. Amanda and I agreed that we're going to make as many plans for ourselves as possible because babies generally decide to arrive right in the middle of important plans. So tomorrow's plans? Hopefully the farmers market again in the morning and then a 30th birthday party in the evening. Not hugely important, but plans nonetheless.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
We're At A One!
That's what A said to me today when she called to tell me how her doctor's appointment went.
So 1 cm down, 9 more to go.
As we all know, those 9 more could take hours, days or weeks.
But at least it's progress!
Exciting!!!!
So 1 cm down, 9 more to go.
As we all know, those 9 more could take hours, days or weeks.
But at least it's progress!
Exciting!!!!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Get More Tissue
I guess I didn't have quite the right link for the adoption video. Chelsea e-mailed me the full version this afternoon. I think you'll really enjoy watching it. But like I said, definitely get more tissue.
A bit of background on the video....it was done to show in schools, pregnancy centers etc. as a way to promote adoption as an option for an unplanned pregnancy. The man who made the video filmed several families and ended up choosing ours to focus on which we think is so cool. We feel especially blessed to have this beautiful record of our story to share with Steele.
We have worked with and know many of the people shown in the video. They work at our agency and we feel so honored that we have been able to participate in their ministry to families, birth parents and children.
If you know anyone considering adoption - either birth parents or adoptive parents - please feel free to pass this on to them.
Part 1
Part 2
A bit of background on the video....it was done to show in schools, pregnancy centers etc. as a way to promote adoption as an option for an unplanned pregnancy. The man who made the video filmed several families and ended up choosing ours to focus on which we think is so cool. We feel especially blessed to have this beautiful record of our story to share with Steele.
We have worked with and know many of the people shown in the video. They work at our agency and we feel so honored that we have been able to participate in their ministry to families, birth parents and children.
If you know anyone considering adoption - either birth parents or adoptive parents - please feel free to pass this on to them.
Part 1
Part 2
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