Still here...

Now that I'm feeling a little bit better I feel like I can sit down and gather my thoughts. The last week was pretty rough. I'm on a medication that suppresses my ovaries so they don't function. Basically, no ovaries = no hormones = major headaches + crazy, weepy emotions. I would sometimes have to squint at people when they were talking so I could focus enough through the headache to be able to process anything. It wasn't fun. So I decided to lay low for the week, take lots of naps, do as little as possible. I am so, so thankful that Justin was home through the hardest days and was able to pick up my slack. Love him. Thank you, Lord.

I went for an appointment at the fertility clinic yesterday and things are progressing as they should. For me, the best part of that was being able to start on some estrogen which = no more headaches! Hooray. I put the estrogen patches on last night and this morning when I woke up? The headache was gone. Phew! I talked to my mom on the ride home and was laughing a bit telling her I was so thankful to hear that my body was doing what it should - especially considering the fact that the M.O. for my body, in this area, is definitely to not do what it should. Ever. Kicking and screaming if you try to make it.

I've hesitated sharing all of this on my blog. Not that I don't want to share. If I knew you in person and saw you all face to face I would tell you everything. I'm just that way. This is not in my hands. It is not dependent on me. I still know, no matter what, that God brings the right children at the right time. HE alone is the one who plans families - as much as we think we are working at it, He has planned these things from the beginning of time. It is so good to rest in that knowledge. It's just that it's all so surreal to me still. Unbelievable at times. Like, do I dare voice it? Could this really be happening? You'd think I'd know it's real the moment I stick those darn needles into myself. But I suppose, just as I so often look at Steele, Adia and Xochi and think, "How in the world did you get here?! How did God's plans ever come about to bless me in such a way?!" ... I will always be in awe of life. And especially in awe of all of the creative and astounding ways God has brought life, these lives, to us.

June 9 is my next big appointment. As long as things are continuing as they should we will probably transfer the embryos in mid June. If you are a pray-er... please pray that God would preserve these little lives and that He would make just the right space for them in me. We'd really love to meet them.