Self-revelation here: Some of you may have noticed this about me (and some of you know this about me), but I'm not very good at follow through. It's not something I'm proud of but never something I'm surprised at myself for. I've gotten better with age but still often have a difficult time completing things. I have a whole truck-load of motivation, enthusiasm and ideas but tend to poop out before anything gets finished. I often have a really hard time doing things like: calling people back, finishing projects, making plans in advance, making Fix, Freeze, Feast meals with the sale-meat I bought that is sitting in my fridge, doing seemingly unimportant things like posting pictures on my blog when I say I'm going to.....
For example, I saw an acquaintance of mine at Trader Joe's the other day and we were talking about adoption. She mentioned that she'd like to get together with me and would e-mail me. So she did. I e-mailed back. She e-mailed me back asking if Tuesday would work - and for the life of me I can not get up the motivation to actually firm up plans with her. I mean, Tuesday is 5 whole days away! What if I don't feel well on Tuesday? What if my kids were up all night the night before? Anything could happen! Now, if she were to call me on Tuesday morning and I was at home I would say, "Sure, come on over!" and I wouldn't have an ounce of concern about it. For some reason I just don't like to have things looming.
Now please, if you are a friend of mine and you are reading this, don't let it stop you from calling to invite me to do something. In fact, do it! Push me a little - this is obviously something I need to get over. But anyway....
And so it often is with craft projects. I'm all gung-ho about something and make a grand start - only to fizzle out mid-way through. This is why I have half finished blanket for these boys sitting in my basement, fabric cut out for this doll quilt that I was going to make for Adia....last Christmas, yarn cast on for this top, my dining room ceiling yet without paint, my kitchen ceiling half way painted, and the list goes on.
But all hope is not lost! Every once in a while I actually get around to doing something I said or wanted to do. This is one of those moments.
Before Christmas I began knitting my grandma a pair of socks out of this pattern. While I am now a fairly experienced knitter, I had no idea that a pair of socks would take SO long to knit. So, par for the course, I finished one sock and gave it to my grandma for Christmas with the promise that I would knit nothing else until her sock was finished. If I believed in karma I would say that karma was on my side for this project - or perhaps it might be better to say it was on my Grandma's side. I tried starting two hats before finishing and they both failed miserably. But tonight! Tonight, I finished the socks. Even though it was 9:30, I had to call my grandma and tell her - she was excited. And so was I.
And now, I get to start some new projects. Something special for my cousin whose birthday is on Valentine's Day and a couple of hats for some new babies - cousins Mac and Jack - who were recently born at our church. I do way better with deadlines.
but since I inherited them from my grandmother,
they're sure to stay up on her too.
11 comments:
I can't believe you made those! So talented! I am very similar to you. I dislike things looming. When it comes to plans with others, I am a fly by your seat kind of girl. Except when planning vacations, then my OCD kicks into high gear.
I do miss you blogging though! Love to hear what's happenin' at your home!!
Sarah
I can't believe we weren't best friends in the whole world when we were in middle and high school. We're seriously the exact same person in two different bodies. :) I have that same problem.
I am super impressed with your socks. I am sure your grandma is going to love and wear them all the time. Nice job on the socks and on completing a project!
Ugh...I can identify with so much of this. If I don't do something the very second it pops into my head, there's only about a 10% chance it will ever get done.
But I love the positive side of this quality in you. It's all part of what makes you such a fun person to be with. You're like Fun that's just waiting to spaz out and land on you at any given moment. :)
I too can't believe you made those socks.
I'm the same way. I hate flaking out on people, and I stress so much about it that I usually end up getting sick or having something bad happen because I'm so preoccupied with that scenario playing out.
I've given one sock or one mitten as a gift more than a few times, and I'm always so relieved and impressed with myself when I finally finish the second one. However, I have an embarrassing number of socks and mittens that I've made for myself that may never have a mate.
Oh my gosh. This is why I love you girls!!!!
Wait- the socks! They're awesome! I love homemade socks. Yummy. AND? I'm impressed that you finished one before you gave it to your Grandma. My Mom has been known to just whip a ball of yarn at us. It typically *stays* in the form of a ball of yarn, too. Never materializes into socks or anything:)
And I could write volumes about my commitment phobia. I've recently figured out that I need to do things with my friends where I NEED to be there (i.e. MJ and I will volunteer together or I will work with her..I can't flake out on those things because it will make her life miserable.). Merely scheduling a lunch is a big ol' invitation for me to cancel because I get a Netflix movie in the mail.
I could go on and on....
Love ya!
Martz
Mac and Jack were born *at* church? Cool.
I'm a commitment-phobe too.
Hee hee.... funny, Suz. Ok, so they weren't born at church. But! they were both born at the family farm!!
Good job on these socks, Cutzi!
And on "commitment phobia", sometimes I feel like if I can't have do something for sure, then I don't want to plan to do it at all. Maybe I'm afraid of the disappointment if it doesn't work out...? For whatever the reason, I don't like this attitude in myself because it's more worry-ish and less at peace with what God has planned for me.
(This may totally NOT be how you feel about commitments but I guess I'm sharing it anyway... hope you don't mind?)
Oh and back to the socks; do they require a teeny needle and teeny yarn?
Oh Cutzi, I am laughing so hard reading this and *totally* get what you mean! Realizing right now its Wednesday morning...wondering if you have company :) Your knitting skills are amazing...I want lessons. So so cool.
Props to you on the socks! They look very cozy. Nice work.
-Helen
I think the thing is to just to accept the fact that all personality types have positives and negatives (which you do).
It is funny that I can so easily be ok with it in my kids (ie. Aidan is not too worried about what other people are thinking of him to join in but Aidan is also not too worried about what other people are thinking to notice someone else is feeling left out). I don't get depressed about this in him I know it is how God made him. I help him to see how he can overcome his natural tendencies and have grace for him. Why can't we with ourselves?
We both sometimes go outside of what our typical personality traits call for, but in general I think I run the opposite way. I often don't start things because I am so busy obsessing about all the details it will take to finish. I have ideas but I get so grumpy about the fact that I probably won't complete them that I don't even start them.
How much better to begin and enjoy the moment of believing you will finish :). All that to say, you are fun and I am glad you are the way that you are.
AND. Don't forget that having kids changes you. I am different now than I was pre-kids and I believe I will be a little different as they continue to change me and what they require from me.
This was a fun read. I don't get to see you today, but I get to read a bit about what you are thinking. I like it.
Post a Comment