I'm Mad and I Can't Sleep

Well, the title says it all. I'm going to try and post about this without compromising anyone's privacy. My dearest friends (all two or so of you) know the details. To the rest of you... I hope you are able to learn a little bit about adoption and are able to encourage any young woman who may be faced with an unexpected pregnancy. Here are some of the things I'm thinking of and crying out to the Lord about tonight.

1. Adoption is a wonderful solution to an unexpected pregnancy.

At times, in today's society, there may seem to be only two options: abortion or single parenting. Do you know what the statistics are for adoption? Pretty slim. I can't remember the exact,exact numbers but it goes something like this. Only like 12% of women with an unexpected pregnancy choose to keep their babies. (the rest are aborted). Of those 12%, only about 2% choose to place their babies for adoption.

I will tell you that both of my childrens' birthmothers have told me over and over again how thankful they are that they chose adoption. Even though they do experience grief - the peace of knowing that their children are happy, healthy, loved and taken care of is always there to comfort them. They don't bear the immense grief that choosing abortion brings.

2. Adoption is not a selfish option.

Yes, I have heard comments and have heard of people making comments referring to adoption as a selfish choice. That a birth mother is only thinking about her own life and what she wants to do when she chooses adoption. Well, what about this? How selfish is it to keep your baby and raise it even if you have no job or means of supporting it just because it would be too "sad" for you to place it in a loving family? In the end, it is only prideful, self-focused and unrealistic. I know I may sound a little harsh here but come on... babies need to eat! They need a place to sleep at night, clothes to wear... you get my point. It is loving and responsible to put a child's needs before one's own emotions.

Before Steele was born, his birthmother said to me, very wisely, that he did not deserve to be raised on welfare, without a mother and a father because of the choice she made. He didn't ask for that and that wasn't what she wanted for him - especially when she knew there was another option.

3. God's Best Way Is For Babies to Have a Mom and a Dad.

I've been rolling this one around in my brain for the last week or so and have sincerely come to this conclusion. Now, I'm not in any way saying that being a single parent cannot work - I was raised by a single parent and I turned out ok. What I am saying is that it is not the best. It is not what God intended. It is not what He created in the beginning of time. And what He intended is always best.

And, even more than this - adoption is an amazing thing that God has created to redeem our sinful choices. He has taken these situations that seem as if they have no solution and has redeemed them for all involved. Birthparents who don't feel they're ready to be parents can choose not to be. Children who need a mom and a dad get them. Parents who are ready to care for and love children get that opportunity.

4. People Need to Stop Thinking About Things Based On the Way They Feel and Start Thinking About Things Based On What God Says.

I better stop here. I'm really mad about this one.

5. Finally, a thought to end with and just to get it off my chest. My friend Amy told me a story today that I thought was awfully poignant. She told me a story about a mother that was in the hospital with her unborn baby. The baby was under stress and was being carefully monitored. The mother had other young children at home and wanted to be updated as to how they were doing. After receiving several updates the woman's caregivers halted all communication regarding her family. The reason? Every time the woman would receive updates she would become anxious. When she was anxious her body would produce adrenalin. When her body produced adrenalin the baby's heart rate would drop and he would become stressed.

Now, how much stress must an unborn child experience when it's birthmother is told that she is selfish and unloving and when she is made to fight in order to make a wise decision for her baby?

I'm mad, dangit, and getting more mad by the day. It is such a good lesson for me in trust. I wish with everything in me that I could rush in and rescue hurting people and fix unjust situations. But I can't. So, I am praying for redemption. And for a miracle. Please pray with me. Pray for these little babies all across the country and around the world who need an opportunity. An opportunity at life and at the chance to know God's amazing Love for them. Pray for their birthparents, that they will have the courage and the wisdom to take part in God's redemption plan.