And now? I'm practicing my set for tomorrow so that my students can have some new songs to dance to. The problem is that all of this fun stuff should be just that. Fun. And it would be if I didn't have Jazzercise always hanging over my head. All of it wouldn't really be that much to do if that were all there was. It would be a blast! I'm just gonna to be honest here. I don't need to work, I don't want to work, I don't make any money for myself doing this. So far it's just a glorified hobby. (A nice new pair of shoes every so often would be sufficient pay for me) All I really want to do is stay home with my babies, bake, cook, decorate, home school (and probably get fat without Jazzercise...) I've had 2 or 3 anxiety attacks in the last few months (they suck). I'm a grown, mature (that's arguable sometimes) woman and it's silly that I get to that point. Hmph. I hesitated to write all of this and finally decided to just do it. To be honest, as well-intentioned as everyone might be, I don't usually care for shallow "I'm sorry"s and "You're doing a great job"s (if you know what I mean). I just need to logically think it through, pray, and make a decision.
But like I said, it might just be PMS. (don't you just love parenthesis?)
Since I'm talking Jazzercise...Last year's 80's themed Halloween Class
Yes. That's me. Yes. That's my hair.
PS. I went searching for reminders of why Jazzercise is so much fun. Here's one. I found these pictures of me at a former students' wedding. We were bustin' out the Jazzercise moves!
Lose My Breath
Lose My Breath
8 comments:
I appreciate your honesty here.
not sure if this will help, but I have a great friend who always tells me this simple phrase, "If it's stressing you out and you aren't enjoying it, don't do it".
I'm prone to anxiety attacks myself. When I start having them, I learn to scale back on a few things. (buy your peppermint bark - don't make it, unless you want to)
could you just attend a class? or are you the only one to teach?
(I don't know much about the jazzercise set-up you got there)
btw - I'm not a big fan of the "i'm sorry"'s or "you're doing a great job"'s either (albeit well intentioned). I understand.
I totally understand.
I just cancelled my block club meeting last Tuesday night. It made me feel soooo much better!
Cancelling.....it's a good thing. (Dude. I sure hope that phrase insn't copyrighted.)
xoxo,
martha
Cutzi,
It's the weather. [In my humble opinion.]
It always makes me sluggish and draggy, too. Not real motivated to do anything but hunker down and get cozy on the couch with blankets and books or knitting or baking (for fun) in the kitchen.
(((Hugs to you!))))
~Stacy
well, I think you just need to suck it up! Take it like a man-woman-person. Or do what I did a couple Saturdays ago and sit in my comfy chair drinking coffee in my pjs ALL DAY LONG! It was GREAT! I didn't make 1 thing all day. And Fred took all the kids (some extra too) to Rotten Ronnie's for lunch.
Jake liked your hair in the 80's photo. He was laughing and said who is that? I said Cutzi. He just kept laughing.
And I agree with Martha
Cancelling... it's a good thing. Amen sister!
Ted (aka Trina)
I know this is completely random, but where do you buy your yarn? Just curious. I've looked downtown here for 100% cotton yarn, and they have nothing. Maybe I have to order online, but then... I don't know that I'm brave enough to order color online. ???
~Stacy
I love you cutz.
Good job not just making a rash decision but praying about it and giving it time.
I WILL be praying for you this week as you ask for wisdom. I pray that the Lord gives you all you stand in need of this week.
I love the picture of you in the 80's outfit! But know as you get nastalgic that moving on to a new season does not take away the good times you've had. A good analogy (I think) is our sweet babies. It is so sad to see them no longer be babies and to know that we can never have that back. But it also is so fun to remember and to know them as kids. For when it is the right time to move on.
With much love and prayer, truly,
amy
Cutzeroo,
1. You look hot in your 80's outfit. I love you because you know how to have fun.
2. Lose My Breath. I love that routine. Great music, great routines, great friends...it is what we love about Jazzercise.
3. I know you'll make the best choice for you and your family.
4. I love you.
5. I've been waiting to RSVP to your Christmas party because I've been wishing and wishing for some way to convince myself that I should make the trip just so I can go to the party. But I probably shouldn't. :( I want to come. I wish I lived closer to you. It actually makes me want to cry right now. That might be hormones also.
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