Things

Justin and I just finished watching Stranger Than Fiction. I liked it. So did Justin. I think I need to re-watch the end though. I started looking at blogs and wasn't very focused.

So I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately but haven't known if I really want to blog about it. Isn't it funny how some things get stuck in your head and you can't get them out? Like one time my friend Amy told me that she doesn't really care for "stream of consciousness" blog writing. And even though I happen to know *for certain* that she loves my streams... I always think about that when I start writing.

Tonight I had a thought about something I read in Kate's blog. She said, "It's like they just put their kids to bed and go watch a movie." (or something like that) And that's what I did tonight. I put them to bed, grabbed my dinner and sat down to watch a movie. I couldn't get what she had said out of my mind (as I was watching my movie) - and I prayed, with all sincerity, that she would be able to do the same thing tonight. Watch a movie, that is.

I've also been thinking about all the things I think about people and I wonder what people think about me. Wouldn't it be terrible if we all knew what everybody else was thinking about us? We'd all feel really terrible about ourselves. It made me wish I didn't have so many critical thoughts about people.

Steele just fell out of his bed. I went in a laid down with him for a while. I whispered to him in the dark how special he is to me. How special he is to the Lord. How God has great plans for him and what a beautiful gift he is to us. He fell asleep in my arms and I snuck back out of his room.

I've also been thinking about my weight a lot lately. I'm so frustrated with myself. I weight 150 lbs. 10 more than I weighed last year at this time. I hate it. Some people will probably laugh when I write this - but I have really noticed a difference in my body since turning 30. There are rolls where there were none before. I just seem a little rounder and softer overall. And not in a good way.

There's an ad on for Christian Faith Center. Joel Osteen is on the cover of the Family Bookstore catalog. Justin and I talked today about how embarrassing it is. Disgusting, really. And there I go - being critical again.

When I go to bed at night I think about dying. About the fact that we are all going to die some day. I hate that fact and I hate that I think about it so much. Life is so short. I hope I'm making the most of it and trying to enjoy every moment. Then I think that life is not just about enjoying it - it's also about becoming more like Christ. The problem is that this becoming often involves the things I don't like to think about.

I've been thinking about Naomi Andrea lately and how I don't think about her as much anymore. I prayed so earnestly and so fervently for so long. Now, it is up to the Lord. I trust that - I trust God and the children He has planned for us. It's so cool to watch things unfold. Sometimes I'm amazed at all the ways I lack Godliness and yet, in this area, God has given me so much grace. He will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Now, I think I'm going to go to bed.

An afterthought.
I just exchanged these words with Justin...
me: I wrote kind of a wierd blog tonight.
justin: Is that because of the mojito?
me: mighta' been.