Still Resting

Although a little more fully now. As of Sunday afternoon, my doctor put me on more complete bed rest.

The bump. The headless pregnant lady. (You know how it is. Bad hair. No make-up.)

It's hard. Physically, emotionally, relationally, logistically, parentingly... pretty much all the lly's you can think of. Please pray for us when you remember.

I am truly humbled and grateful for the ways our friends and family have helped us this week. Meals, visits, new clothes (thanks, Mom!), e-mails checking in. I especially appreciated a friend dropping a meal by yesterday who brought her sweet 2 month old. It was good to remember what it's like to hold a sweet smelling newborn.

I'm 17.5 weeks. At this point, we have no idea how long this bed rest could last. We're praying for the best but, as time has gone on, we're also trying to think practically about preparing for the long haul.

I wanted to clarify a bit about what exactly is going on. I have complete previa. This means that my placenta is completely covering my cervix. There are many different levels of previa but this complete previa isn't as likely to correct and is a little riskier. A lot of women have previa and don't even know about it. The fact that I've been cramping and spotting is more concerning.

I hope I don't offend anyone when I say this, but please oh please don't leave me comments saying things like, "But it will all be worth it in the end" or "You're doing the most important job there is right now." For some reason, could be hormones, these phrases don't make me feel any better. A simple, "That must be really hard... (scary, sucky, etc.) I will be praying for you" is really helpful and lets me know you recognize how I'm feeling. And how I'm feeling is that I have 4 other people in my life that God has given me to love and serve and right now I can't do those things very easily or well. The other truth is that we really don't know how things will turn out in the end and sitting around on the couch really isn't my most important job. My most important job is to trust God and His sovereignty and rest in the fact that my faithful God, for whatever reason, has chosen this path for us. My job is to glorify Him and serve Him in the midst of it. *Please don't worry if you've already said one of those things to me. I'm not offended... I'm just not sure I can handle hearing it again. You know, the whole "it's not you, it's me" thing.

This is the only thing I know for sure:

What is thy only comfort in life and death?

That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him. (from the Heidelberg Catechism)