But first... a little administrative work.
Please accept my apologies for not always responding specifically to your comments. I try, try being the key word, to respond to you in the comments if you ask me a specific question. ie. Where'd you get that? How'd you do that? etc. Please know that I LOVE all of your comments but usually by the time I have finished writing a blog post I have children hanging off of me, a husband asking me questions about a recipe from the kitchen, my mom calling me on the phone, the dryer singing out it's "buzzzz... I'm done" and the dog barking at the front door to get in... and when all of that is happening well, I don't always have time to respond. You all know how it goes, right?
Second, I really want you all to know why I'm sharing these things with you. It is because I want to share a deep truth I have learned along the way - for us, it applies to building our family but truly, it can be applied to any situation in life. It is simply, this:
God, and God alone, is the one who builds families. He does it in creative and varied ways and in His time. We can either go kicking and screaming, demanding our own way, dragging our heels while He brings us to blessing the hard way.... or we can go along with excitement, thankfulness, joy and expectation.
I'm not sure how God's sovereignty works - I believe He is sovereign and I believe God always accomplishes His plans despite us. But people often say to me that it seems like our adoptions were "easy." To that I usually respond with what I shared above - that when you fight and push against God's will, it seems hard. Laborious. Looooong. When we submit to Him and wait on Him, doing the things He has set directly before us in the mean time? Well, it doesn't seem as hard. It does not diminish
God's miracle of children, it changes
our perspective and experience. It reveals again that God does not conform to us but rather, we are to be conformed to Him.
On this topic of God's sovereignty - because really, I could go on and on with stories and things that God has taught me (and maybe one day I will). But on the topic of sovereignty - I often tell people that God did not look down - ever - and say, "Oh no!! Cutzi is not getting pregnant!! Whatever am I going to do???!!" He also did not look down at Steele's birthmother and say, "Great! Chelsea's pregnant. Now what am I supposed to do?" Nope. It was His plan all along. Nothing happens in this world that has not gone through God's filter - nothing that He has not allowed, ordained, for His purposes. When I have an accurate understanding of how God works it affects every part of my experience.
For example, when people ask:
Is it ever hard for you to have communication with their birthparents? No, because God made me their mama. He also gave them birthparents. That was His plan and who am I to question that?
What do you tell your kids about adoption? I tell them that it was part of God's plan all along.
That God planned for them to have birthparents and that He planned for
us to be their mama and papa. Some kids are adopted, some kids are not. Some kids have red hair, some have brown eyes. I tell them that God has plans to redeem even our sinful choices - things that were outside of His best for us. It is easy for my kids to understand this quality of God when we teach them about people like Jacob from the Old Testament - God brought about His plans, despite anyone's efforts to thwart them.
Are you nervous about drug and alcohol exposure? Concerned? Maybe - because of the obvious... no child should have to endure those effects. Nervous? No, because God saw fit to make
me their mama. He will give me what I need to parent them. Even if I had given birth to a child, he/she could have any number of challenges for which God would equip me. We cannot parent any child effectively apart from God's direction.
Do you think every family should adopt? Not necessarily. Not unless it's part of God's plan for them. ;-) Here's what I think: If it's on your radar - you should tell God you'll do whatever He leads you to. If it's not on your radar - don't worry about it.
See? It changes so much!
So here I am, 9 or 10 paragraphs into this and I still haven't told you a thing.
Several months ago, we attended
our adoption agency's annual summer picnic. While there, our social worker asked me what was next for our family, if we wanted more children? I gave her my usual response, "Well, we'd love to have a large family. We'll see what God has for us." I began to talk to her about our considerations regarding
IVF. I've often thought that getting pregnant might be good for my body - it has been known to help women with endometriosis. It's also helpful in preventing certain types of cancer in women. But we have so many uncertainties regarding IVF - questions we just hadn't felt ready to approach, both ethically and economically. And really, thus far, God has been doing a pretty good job building our family - so much so that we haven't really even had
time to think about it.
As we were talking, she directed me to a family who had done IVF and said they could probably offer some good insight. Now, for brevity's sake, I won't get into all the many details about what happened next - I'll skip to the end and maybe fill you in more at another time. Because the details.. well, the details - the amazing, God-ordained, sovereign, non-coincidental details are always the best parts.
After meeting this family and talking with them - they shared with us that they had "leftover" embryos that they were not able to use due to health risks. They have been praying for a family that might adopt them. And, as you might have guessed, we might just be that family!
I know I am skipping over so much and there are likely many questions rushing through your brain - my brain still cannot conceive of this sometimes. But I'll bet these might be on the top of your list:
So who would carry these babies? ME!
How many are there? 5
Would you do all 5? Yes, but not at the same time. And statistically, there will probably be some that don't survive thawing and implantation. But we also know God often pays no heed to statistics.
Could you have twins? Yes, it is a possibility.
When would you do this?Well, let's not jump ahead of ourselves quite yet. Today, we have our first appointment at the fertility clinic. They will do an exam, blood work etc. to determine if my body would be able to carry these babies. This is the first step and we'll only be able to move forward if everything checks out ok. But remember my theology? God builds families. In His way and in His timing.
So today, we keep trusting, keep following and keep moving forward until God directs us elsewhere. We haven't questioned it. We've been praying. They've been praying. And here we are. We do not believe God hides His will from us - He wants to lead us as we obey Him and we
only want what
He has for us. And if this is what He has for us? We are totally excited! .... and quite a bit nervous. Me? Pregnant? SO weird!
but maybe January would be a good month to grow a baby?
